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Thread: I surrender! What do you do if it's just NOT working??

  1. #19

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    Willow the girls have given you some excellent advice. And you're doing a great job If resettling is getting you down, can you put him in a pram for one of those times each day and take him for a walk? This may send him off to dreamland, or if not, at least it will give you and DD a little outside time together. (or a sling?)



    And the others were absolutely right when they say this is just a teeny tiny blip on his childhood timeline. Keep on going Willow, he's obviously a very contented little boy (judging from his looooong night sleeps). You and he will work out a routine eventually if he needs one, or you'll learn to go with the flow if he doesn't

  2. #20

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    Willow, you sound so much like my sister! She has a 7 week old DD and is struggling with the same issues. She too is a perfectionist and puts a lot of pressure on herself. We talk on the phone almost daily encouraging each other! She had really bad sleep issues with her DS when he was a bub and I think she is suffering a little post traumatic stress TBH. She keeps fearing the same thing will happen with her DD and gets really stressed out. Talking to each other is really helping her because she gets to let off steam and I am then her personal cheering squad! Do you have someone you can do this with?

    I have learned that if I can't change my baby I can change me! When Kieran only sleeps 40 minutes at a time I have started trying to be positive about it. I say things to myself like, "hooray, I managed to get the washing hung out!" or if I am going in and out of his room like a yo-yo settling him, "yay, I got the socks put away" LOL! Changing my thoughts to positive ones has really helped my stress levels.

    Again, you really are doing a wonderful job teaching your little man how to sleep. You are doing everything right and he will get there when he is ready.

  3. #21

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    Caleb was the worst day sleeper. I had him in and out of the car 3 days a week for kinder pick up and drop offs (both older brothers did kinder last year) so the poor thing had no daytime routine and he didn't sleep through the night till he was about 14 weeks.

    He was a cat napper and 2 hourly breastfeeder and it was bloody hard. I would come home, wack on a DVD for the brother who was home and just go to bed with him so I could at least get some shut eye myself.
    If he wouldn't sleep then I would have him in the HAB or in the rocker chair. He spent a lot of time in that rocker chair watching me do stuff.

    If sleep school or learning settling techniques appeals you then give it a go. I didn't try that but I know a few that did with varying success. Be preared for it not to be the answer to your problems. My SIL was in tears because it didn't help her bub at all.

  4. #22

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    Sounds completely normal TBH Willow. My baby is 7 months old and only has 30 min sleeps in the day, he's always been a catnapper, it's just him.

    But he also wakes around 4-8 times a night still...which is completely normal in a BFed bub. I think I'll die of shock if he ever sleeps through!

    Definately try not to stress, if he's sleeping through the night at his age, that's just awesome! Just concentrate on that

  5. #23

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    Willow you poor love - you're doing it tough at the moment! Like everyone else has said, it sounds normal. I've got a fantastic night sleeper, but he is usually a shocking day sleeper. We often have days where he will only sleep once (or not at all) during the day, but will then sleep through. People say how wonderful it is that he sleeps through the night at such a young age (it is, don't think I'm complaining), but the flip side is that he can be an awake velcro baby for up to 12 hours during the day, which is exhausting. Yesterday we had our first day where he followed a 'normal' (ish) pattern, but that could change again today!

    It's not easy whichever way they go, but don't stress that he 'has' to sleep to a certain routine - if he is content then he's likely to be getting enough sleep. It's easier said than done, and I'll try to take my own advice too...

    Hugs to you - hang in there.

  6. #24

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    Thanks again girls, I am really feeling a lot better today! He has done really well today, only had one short sleep this morning of 40 mins, which isn't surprising considering he slept 13 hours overnight (with feeds of course).

    He did a big sleep of 2 and a bit hours (I had to resettle him but it was very quick and easy) and another of 1.5 hours and is now back in bed after his chiro appt. So he has been a very clever boy today!

    Trish - you are right, I am EXACTLY like your sister! It's pretty hard when you can't live up to your own expectations. I have no idea where they came from, my mum says I read too much and told me to throw the books out cause DS can't read so how's he supposed to know what the books say? LOL!

    Sammi - don't tell me that! LOL. DD starts preschool/kinder in a few weeks, two days a week (well only 1.5 really but still means drop off and pick up two days a week). I don't know how we'll go but if I think it's causing too much stress to our days then I'm happy to cut her back to one for now.

  7. #25

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    Hi Willow,

    I noticed u r in sydney - why don't u get ur baby clinic to refer u to Possum Cottage or Whispers - I went to Possum cottage on Thurs coz my bub was not sleeping well during the day (thankfully they don't do control crying at all - in fact they are very loving and affectionate) They really helped me get my bub into a routine and the sleeps are sorted (for now) Give it a go!!

  8. #26

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    Hi willow,
    You are doing a fab job!!!! Ur little one sounds very happy and contented.
    I think he is sleeping fantastically for a 9 week old!!! I wish we had that kind of routine here!
    I have never been one for strict routines. Bubs will have to sleep if he gets tired, that was alway my thinking. I know how frustrating it is when u just want to get things done, and they keep waking up. DS has always been a [email protected] sleeper during the day too. He also did the whole 1 sleep cycle thing for a long time.
    It is only for the last 2 months, ever since he has been able to roll over onto his tummy to sleep, that we get more than 40 mins at a time. I'm not saying to put ur bubba on his tummy... just to try and go with what bubs is telling you.
    As they get older, they don't quite need as much sleep. He sounds like he is a very contented little man, so maybe he just doesnt need all that much sleep during the day. To have him sleeping so well at night at such a young age is fantastic! What a little champion

    The little ones tend to do what they want, whether we want them to or not. Try and just go with the flow a little more. I have foundb that my DS dictates when he goes to sleep at night.. at approx 8pm and wakes twice for a feed. I am really loving it. Beats the waking every 2 hours that I did for over 3 months. lol

    Again you are doing a fantastic job Enjoy ur little man

  9. #27

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    Lilli - I've heard of whispers but not possum cottage - where are they located?

    Still tracking his sleeping patterns and he did another 12.5 hours overnight last night with 3 feeds (and straight back to sleep afterwards. He is a very efficient feeder, particularly at night so we are only up for about 10 mins at a time. So out of that 12.5 hours, he's probably actually asleep for 12). Can't ask for much better than that! I'm not sure how long it will last though. He did 17 hours in 24 yesterday!

    Days are the same, usually with one short sleep in the morning where I can't resettle him. Then he usually has one big sleep of about 2.5 hours where he wakes after one sleep cycle but generally will resettle himself. Then depending on the time, will have another one or two short sleeps.

    Going to the CHN today so will talk to her about it and see if we can get a referral to sleep school. I'm under no illusions that this will suddenly make him a great day sleeper, but I figure it can't hurt either.

    Other than that we'll just keep doing what we're doing and eventually he won't need to sleep so much during the day anyway!

  10. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by Willow View Post
    Days are the same, usually with one short sleep in the morning where I can't resettle him. Then he usually has one big sleep of about 2.5 hours where he wakes after one sleep cycle but generally will resettle himself. Then depending on the time, will have another one or two short sleeps.
    Willow, you have such a normal baby! Actually he sounds better than normal, he is doing exceptionally well! Well done mummy, you are doing a fabulous job! Good work on the night sleeps as well, it really makes you feel human again doesn't it when they sleep well at night?

    Just wanted to pop back in to give you a pat on the back!

    Trish

  11. #29

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    Hi Willow! It is very hard when bubs won't sleep but I must say that if you are getting 40 minutes out of him then that's a lot longer than I ever got out of my little boy! Haha! I was lucky to get 15 minutes of him... I know it's easy to say (and of course people said it to me too) but try not to beat yourself up about it and relax a bit (haha, yeah right!)... It took a year for my little man to want to sleep (we were feeding every 2 hours for quite a few months!). In the end we had to do the dreded 'controlled crying' thing and although it was horrible, it did work...it wasn't until he was about 9 months old htough of course. Anyway, I just wanted to say that you're not alone and hopefully things will improve sooner rather than later...

  12. #30

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    Aww thanks Trish!! You really have been a great support to me with DS, I just wish we were in the same baby buddies thread! They're only a day apart!

    Well we went to the CHN today and guess what?! They said he's doing fabulously, and that I need to just stop worrying about his sleeping!! YEY!! They were saying that he's probably in a better routine than they'd expect for a 9 week old so I am doing a great job. They also said that he's doing that really good sleep of 2.5 hours in the middle of the day and he does self settle during this sleep and sleeping well at night so not to worry. If he was awake for hours on end and not even doing one sleep cycle then they would be concerned.

    He's still putting on heaps of weight and is healthy and happy so I'm really going to try to relax more and just enjoy my boy!

    I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders - he's not a crap sleeper!!

    I was lucky to get 15 minutes of him...
    Wow, Sherie, that isn't long at all, you poor thing! The CHN said she actually sees lots of babies who will sleep for 20 mins at a time - YIKES!

  13. #31

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    That's awesome Willow!!! It's nice to hear it from professionals! Now you can relax and enjoy your little man. I'm glad you are feeling better now!

    IKWYM about the baby buddies groups, we missed each other by a matter of hours! You are sooo welcome to pop into the October group to chat, no one would mind at all, they're all so friendly. I'd pop into your group, but I don't want to intrude. I can get bit chatty I'm sure we'll chat around the boards somehow!

  14. #32

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    we missed each other by a matter of hours! You are sooo welcome to pop into the October group to chat, no one would mind at all, they're all so friendly.
    I know! I was actually due in October and was initially going to post in the October thread but then it got soooo busy in there and everyone kinda knew each other already so I didn't worry. Our thread is slowly picking up with more and more girls joining in but it can be very quiet in there.

    Maybe I'll pop into your thread now and then.

    The other thing was that all the babies in your group sounded like they were sleeping so well it was kinda depressing! LOL!

  15. #33

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    Please do pop in! There have been a few girls who have just joined over the last couple of weeks. We all love getting to know new people. Don't compare your bub to anyone elses! You probably only noticed the posts from people with good sleepers and ignored the other posts about not so good sleepers LOL!

  16. #34

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    OK, I might pop in tomorrow and see if anyone minds me posting. I don't know if I'll be able to keep up though, that thread moves so fast!

  17. #35

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    Trish - I'm a November person - and I'm sure everyone else would love to have you in the November group if you'd like to pop in! You were so close to being a November mama! We are pretty quiet - I haven't posted for yonks because everytime I sit down to post, Euan wakes up and gets excited. And there's too much to tell for one handed typing (I can only type one handed when feeding).

    Willow, glad to hear that you've had some good news! I think it's fantastic that he'll settle to sleep - Euan has only once gone to sleep in his cot and I thought that was a miracle - normally he has to be carried/rocked to sleep, or fed until he's so stuffed that he just can't stay awake!

  18. #36

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    Willow - I'm 100% sure no one will mind you joining us! The more the merrier. It can be fast moving in there, but it's fairly quiet at the moment because a few have been away so it's probably a good time to jump in! Hope to see you tomorrow

    Suse - Thanks, I might pop in, but you may all be sorry, I do tend to talk a lot! Hee hee, I can type with two hands when b'feeding! I have a great set up with my chair/pillow/laptop, I do most of my posting while feeding.

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