gosh sweets, we've all been there. I can tell you that I have yelled at my baby to "effing go to sleep" a time or two. Doesn't help, but made me feel better for the 3 seconds before the guilts kicked in.

can you pop her in her cot & give yourself 10 mins breathing space? It's not cry it out, its not neglect, its head space for you, its time to get calm & come back just that teensy bit refreshed.

at the worst of moments like this, I have popped DD in her cot & gone off for a shower / cry & then came out feeling ready to tackle her again.

Best of luck gorgeous, its hard stuff this & you're doing your very best.
xox