Night Time Sleep Patten

[Mel09]

Just wondering if your littlies go straight back to sleep after a feed at night?

DD (3 months) is up for 1 hour to 1.5 hours at night, if I try to put her to sleep before she's ready she'll scream the house down, and I have to rock her/nurse her to sleep, if not again she;ll scream the house down. I don't want to do this, but I get frustrated when I can't get back to sleep coz she wont settle, then I cry and it makes for one big horrible night... If I get sleep deprived I actually get quite frustrated and angry with her, which is why I let her get tired before attempting to put her to bed.

I'm not strong enough to do controlled cryig, but staying up that long at night is killing me. DD#1 never did this...

Any suggestions, advice, what did you do???

[BhoysGirl]

HI Mel,

Don't know if you're already doing this, but have you tried a dream feed? I know that I can pick my DS up, feed him & get him back into bed without him opening his eyes, which then "usually" gets me a few more hours.

Also, when I'm absolutely exhausted, I bring him into bed with me & lie on my side to feed, which lets me close my eyes & snooze until he's finished. I guess it's a shortened version of co-sleeping, which we don't do because DS gets really cranky if I try to cuddle him too much, he's a kid that definitely prefers his own bed for sleeping.

We have been lucky though, he's always been good at going back to sleep in the night, just not so good at staying asleep...

[Ezz]

I think it's pretty normal to nurse to sleep at that age - do you still need to wait 1.5 hours first, or will DD go straight to sleep if you feed her?

Having said that, I tend to put DS in the cot while he is still awake & he puts himself to sleep (when he was little, he used to grunt to sleep, now he babbles). Is your DD able to put herself to sleep during the day? I worked on getting him to self-settle during the day, then he was able to do it at night too.

[Mel09]

Thanks Ezz, She wont stay asleep long if she's not been up long enough at night... I am trying to get her to self settle during the day (as of today!). so we will see how that goes. I guess I am doing the controlled crying thing, but sofar she has taken her dummy straight away and gone back down for at least 45 minutes...

And Thanks Jan... I have tried, but dream feeding and Tahli dont mix, She'll be wide awake and stay up again!!!

[Butterfly_Princess]

I was having this problem with DD up until yesterday! Although it was reversed, she would scream the house down during the day but will be put to sleep in her cot wide awake at night and would go to sleep all by herself..
But what i did yesterday was i put her down she would start to grizzle (which usually turned into screaming if left for another 10 or 20 seconds) so id give her her dummy and walk out, she would spit it, grizzle, i give her her dummy again etc..eventually i realised i hadnt needed to replace her dummy for an hour and she was asleep..it worked the whole day. Today i didnt even need the dummy she settled herself and now is asleep..im hoping its a keeper!!
Ive got a thread going that i started yesterday with some tips from othe rmembers already if u would like to pop in What can I do??

[Emma1979]

Sounds similar to my dd who is now 14 months, but when she was younger she used to be awake for hours in the middle of the night, the dream feed also didn?t work with her when she was that age, but I did it from about 6 or 7 months til about 9 months? I don?t have any answers for you unfortunately, I just used to be walking the hallway while she was wide awake trying to rock her to sleep with her crying. Things settled down around 9 or 10 months though. I know that feels like an eternity away. The only thing I can suggest is just try to be patient and wait for the phase to end, it will end eventually? I also found that with my active wide awake bub, once she could crawl and then walk, she was a lot more physically tired, and started to sleep better. Good luck. I know what sleep deprivation feels like, it is hell on earth. It won?t last forever though so just try to do everything you can to create a sleep conducive environment and one day she will work it out,that night time is for sleeping. That said my dd woke up last night at 230am wanting to play!! GRRRR. PS it gets a lot easier to let them grizzle a bit when they are older and can actually understand what ?its time for night nights? means.

[KatieRabbit]

Mel my DD used to do this for HOURS at night- often till 3-4 am and I was VERY tired. What I wish now is that I a)had tkaen her into bed with me, b)fed her to sleep, c) watched her sleep patterns over a 24hr period not just at night. Sharing a bed and feeding to sleep will not form bad habits and will really help to settle your DD. At her age, she is still learning day from night so it is normal for her to stay awake after a feed as she doesn't know it is night time and that she is meant to be asleep. You don't have to do controlled crying either if you don't want to. It prob wouldn't help anyway and I tried it once for an hour until I was bawling and I was sick in the stomach, let alone DD who doesn't know why mummy isn't helping her to sleep. And you don't have to stay up all night either. There is no quick fix- controlled crying def isn't quick, but you could get Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solutions book from the bookshop or local library. She has a website too with steeling ideas- just google Pantley and you should find it. Also watch her day sleep that she isn't getting too much sleep in the day (not tired enough at night) or too little sleep, leading to overtiredness where she can't settle at night. Try the Gentle Parenting section on this site too- lots of help and ideas in there.

[Lewis's Mummy]

I don't really have any suggestions for helping her sleep - my DS was sleeping well until about 2 months ago and is now waking again at night, sometimes every hour or so. I find I can keep my sanity if I think about his train of thought if he's crying... 'I saw so many new things today mummy and my brain won't switch off, please help me get to sleep cos I'm sooooo tired...' Of course, if he decides it's play time this doesn't work, but I try to keep the lights off and say very little to him in a whisper so he's getting to know it's not play time. Sorry I can't be more help, but hopefully it helps a little just knowing you're not alone.

[Ezz]

Mel09 - You can teach them to self-settle without doing controlled crying. For DS I established a sleep routine (dummy, wrap, soft music, dim lights, etc) & stayed with him until calm (patting, stroking, "shhh"ing) then walked outside the room. I would let him have a grizzle, but go back inside if he actually started to cry (or get really grizzly - I started to be able to tell whether he would settle or not). I would stroke his forehead & put his dummy back in, then go outside when he was calm. If he cried, I went straight back in, then out when he was calm, etc etc etc. I kept doing this until he fell asleep.

This did work eventually - now I can just put him in the cot & he will put himself to sleep (and usually resettle after the 40min sleep cycle).

I wonder if you get the day sleep under control if your DD will get the hang of the night sleep too?

People in the gentle parenting forum might have some other ideas?.