Incessant toddler demands & whinging- normal or have I created a monster?
DS is 2.5 and has gone from being the sweetest child to being an autocrat with a cute smile. His demands are CONSTANT- more peanut butter, more trampoline, read the book, juice, juice in a different cup, outside, inside, mama, mama, mama, mama.... He is also quite whingy, but most especially around me. He whines and gets grumpy like a little thundercloud if I so much as look at him in a way he doesn't like- evidently he doesn't do this so much around DH, and not at all around my parents.
DH keeps asking me if something is wrong with him, and implying that he whinges around me so much because I pay attention to it. I say he is just a normal toddler, and that kids just tend to act up around their mum a bit more.
But the constancy of it is wearing me and my confidence thin, and I am suddenly wondering if I am A Bad Parent and have somehow created my very own evil dictator. It doesn't help at all that we just went away with a family who's two young daughters are self-entertaining and eat whatever is put in front of them.
Does this sound like a normal toddler or have I gone wrong somewhere? I should add that DH and I are both fairly consistent and firm on boundaries for DS, so I don't *think* its a discipline/ boundaries issue, but at the end of a long day of feeling like a marionette, its pretty hard to think clearly!
Nope - my 2.5year old is the same. I was only saying tonight to someone - tell me this gets better because i'll scream. I'm sure my heighbours think i'm trying to kill her. She has spent allot of time sitting on the back lawn and screaming fits of late all because I said no. Ah the joys!
Hmm, I swear I could have written your post almost word or word. I am in the exact same position and today I have been constantly questioning my efforts as a mother but feel a bit better now that I am not along. So sorry no words of advice only a hug and to tell you that you are not alone. I am probably the most strict with DS than anyone yet I am the one that cops the whinging, the pushing (my buttons.... doing things he knows that he shouldn't).
DS1 is almost 3 and ive been pulling my hair out questioning where we went wrong as parents because i cant take him nowhere he doesnt listen then its a screaming match when he doesnt get his own way
ALL DAY EVERYDAY he just whinges/crys over anything, im pretty patient with him too but i just cant bare it anymore id like to be able to take him shopping and stuff WITHOUT the tantrums and the not listening to what hes being asked to do
I thought he was only getting worse with this due to DS2 being born but clearly not because what everyone else has been saying
I feel a little bit better knowing its just not my child, but i really wish he would hurry up and grow out of this its driving me mental and you cant reason with him cause he just doesnt understand yet
just as typing this he went to get cold water bottle out of the fridge and is crying because its too heavy to carry
Sammiejane: i totally understand being very heavily pregnant and they want to run off on you when out shopping OR exspect you to move instantly in a flash for something (considering you cant just jump up and down) also it doesnt make things any easier when your tryin to BF and you have a whingy/nagging child at your feet wanting everything and doesnt want to understand when you say 'wait till im finished feeding ------' nope we want it NOW!
Last edited by mummy of 3 boys; February 2nd, 2011 at 11:36 AM.
: added more
I was wondering if I caused it too. Some days it just too much to handle. People tell me it gets better though?! Can't wait. Its hard to keep my temper sometimes it's just so constant.
definitely not alone, DS turned 2 on October and is very demanding right now to the point of cracking it if we put him in the wrong clothes fingers crossed they all grow out if it quickly. I read Toddler Tactics when DD was this age, might have to pull it out again. My trouble is I forget he isnt at the same stage as DD.
So glad I am not alone. Yep, Sunshine, I'm sure our neighbours think we're killing DS too.
Re-reading Toddler Tactics is a brilliant idea. Library, here I come.
I feel so bad about how quickly I can reach the end of my tether with his constancy. Although I do have to laugh sometimes because the intricacy of his demands are so ridiculous- "no mama, no white straw, blue straw" [mama gets blue straw] "now mama drink" [mama drinks from blue straw] "noooooo (screaming) mama drink green straw!" [mama hides in corner rocking]
Yup DD1 is exactly the same, she's nearly 2.5... lol... and I remember DS being exactly the same way, he's 4 (well, tomorrow!) and he's nothing like that any more, so I can tell you without a doubt that it does get better.
I do say a lot in this house "its either this or nothing" because I get so sick of her changing her mind over things, I could be there all day just making sure its a cup that she wants to drink out of it that VERY SECOND, cos I'm sure it will change by the time the next second ticks over. So now I change it once, and thats it. End of story. Eat/drink it or nothing.
definitely normal - and in my experience it evolves as they get older. They begin to get more indepth and specific (if at all possible) with their demands and their moods. That's why I always smile at frazzled mothers down the street - until you have experienced it yourself, you have no idea how exhausting it can all be.
Dd1 goes through phases of it, she is 3.5 now, we can finally reason with her - no playing outside if you sook etc but with a 2.5 yo they don't understand it. Try ignoring it and only respond to the good behaviour, so the bad stuff isn't rewarded.
I have another one here although it pains me to think that my ds is only just 2 and doing the same thing so that means atleast another 6 months of this
Ds will go off on a tangent if i go to move his cup off the table (even though he hasnt touched it in hours). Its whingy whiney all day long!
I have done this three times before but I swear this one takes the cake.
If hes not screaming hes crying, if hes not whinging at me he is whinging at his brothers, if hes not asking for something to eat, hes complaining because he is not being offered what he wants!!!
i feel so much better im not alone.
told DD 1 who is 3 and a bit to make her own dinner tonight if mine wasn't good enough or on the table the second she decided she was "Starving" lol
Everything is no and not that one. Most of the time I choose two items and she has to make a decision because the option of only one is absolute hell.
She whines all the time and is constantly hungry or thirsty but only for food she likes. I am trying to find healthy food which she thinks is lollies so she will eat them.
Tonight we had meltdown of the century over getting out of the shower after she was a prune. It took 30mins of trying every distraction in the book to calm her down.
Incessant toddler demands & whinging- normal or have I created a monster?
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But he does it with everyone close to him, not just me.
definitely not alone, DS turned 2 on October and is very demanding right now to the point of cracking it if we put him in the wrong clothes 
fingers crossed they all grow out if it quickly. I read Toddler Tactics when DD was this age, might have to pull it out again. My trouble is I forget he isnt at the same stage as DD.
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