please tell me i'm not the only one..

[lestyrox]

Ok firstly i LOVE my boys to death and i wouldn't change them for the world. I know that their loudness and assertiveness will be a good quality later in life (i just keep telling myslef that when i want to wring their necks) I know that all parents face different challenges with their kids and i'm not saying that other parents have it any easier BUT i've yet to come across another mum with kids like mine...
i've witnessed some great tanties from other kids but nothing has topped the tanties my DS1 can belt out..i'd love to use one of those decibel measurement thingies when he's having a tanty..i reckon he's be waaaaaay up there on the loudometre...sometimes i joke to DH that they could use him as the sound effect in alien movies...you know that horrible loud pitched schreek..he masters it perfectly.

Its like my boys skipped the whole baby thing and went straight to the terrible twos! You know when you see a baby asleep in the pram or blissfully asleep in their mummies arms? well my boys never did that..right from the word get go they will fight and fight sleep because there is just too much to see and do...unfortunately this means that once they are well and truly over it and ready for a sleep they just bust out howling and nothing and i mean NOTHING will calm them until they're asleep in their OWN cot (no the car/pram/carrier doesn't cut it) My firends (with kids of their own) just don't get it when i have to turn down invites to the park/playgroup/lunch etc because it will mess up the boys sleep.. there is no way in hell they would sleep anywhere other than their beds/cot.

DS2 is only 4months old and already he's so dam assertive just like his big brother.

So far i haven't met anyone else with kids like mine...my hubby always reminds me we're not the only ones with 'full on' kids so i'd like to hear from other mums in the same boat...anyone else with a two year old teenager? lol

[Je$$_84]

Oh Hugs hun... I have a "full on" DS. Was a good baby after we got over the reflux, colic sleeping issue, walked early etc. He's been a monster since he was about 15 months old... terrible 2's started early and now we have the feral 4's...

I dont have the same issue as you but just wanted you to know that there are others out there with full on kids. HUGS hun. We have tanties (major ones) he punches, kicks, yells screams, doesnt listen, thinks he rules the house.

I hope you can work something out with the sleeping.

[Arimeh]

Ummm.. yes...

Our kids are very similar. We should live next door to each other. Cos I'm sure my current neighbours think I'm trying to kill him most days with the screaming.

[lestyrox]

I'm sure my current neighbours think I'm trying to kill him most days with the screaming

lol Arimeh i'm with ya, i swear sometimes i hear myslef yelling and i think geez was that me..i sound like a banshee haha

terrible 2's started early and now we have the feral 4's...

oh now the ferral 4s???? i was hoping things would start getting better at 3! I know what you mean, DS1 started the terrible 2's at 1 and they're still going..

I'm ready to pull my hair out already today and its not even 10am! Already DS1 has had time out 3 times for screeching while DS2 is trying to sleep...i don't know about you ladies but when DS1 threatens to wake DS2 up with his screaming my blood just boils! it takes soooo long to settle DS2 and i just get so angry with DS1 if he wakes his brother up.

oh no speak of the devil...ds2 has just woken up. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Arimeh]

LOL

yes I used to have the same problem. Then I figured out the little bugger just wanted my attention. So now I rock her to sleep in my arms whilst talking to him, or just walking up and down the hallway etc after him... or just pretending to dance around the loungeroom. He is happy and she falls asleep. One less thing to be cranky about (cos believe me, there is MANY!)

I don't yell at him much anymore - I cried myself to sleep one night a few weeks ago after a particularly rough day - and I just felt like the worst mother. So now, I don't yell. I have my warning mummy-could-likely-smack-you voice - and he knows to obey that (most times) so I don't have to yell. Or I just ignore what he is doing, hence why the screaming tanties from him are so loud.. LOL.. but seriously - if he wants something and we don't have it in the house - can't do much about it but let the tantie ride out...

[1MOREPLZ]

ummmm i have the same little boy here right now!!!!!!
he has now taken to screaming/grunting in one go...to get me to pick him up all the time!!!!! arrrrrggggghhhhh i need 10 arms!!!
right now he is screaming like he is being murdered because he won't go to sleep....

[Junglemum]

I have a little girl who is very assertive. She started having throw-yourself-on-the-ground-and-bang-your-head type tanties around 8 months old. She has some doozies now and is only 17 months old.

Yesterday i was in Myers, DD was not in a stroller (bad move) and was toddling around with me in toe trying to stop her destroying the place. She objects very vocally to me saying No.... A portrait place lady came up to try and sell me pics, i said no thanks. She then said "Are you going to put her into a modelling agency, she is gorgeous" I replied with "No, probably not, not really our thing" She then said............... "Well she would certainly do well, if only you had more control of her." *****! She was very lucky i didn't say anything else i tell ya!

Yes she can be very difficult to 'control' for want of a better word, and YES i do want to wring her neck at times, but mostly i love her 'spiritedness'. I do look at my friends placid kids and often wonder why mine is so out there though!

Big to you, and pffft to anyone else's judegement.

[SamiH]

"Well she would certainly do well, if only you had more control of her." *****! She was very lucky i didn't say anything else i tell ya!

Big to you, and pffft to anyone else's judegement.

just one thing at that comment ...

Children are not animals we "control" - they are their own little person, and we try to mould and shape them - I think I would have been too gobsmacked to say anything - but I would of been back there today giving her a mouthful ....

[*charmalea*]

um .. your not alone ... mine DS @2.5 loves the word no and tanties galore , and realy good ones too ... esp when i raise my voice and say " DO NOT HIT the CAR with a HAMMER " he bolted when i walked toward him and ran arond the yard for 5 mins trying to catch him while our smug perfect neighbour whom you never hear a peep from her DD or never enver hear her raise her voice , looked on while she was having a smoke .. made me sooo embarrasesed (sp)

esp fights sleep to , and we shut all the windows at night whne its bed time or ppl would be likely to call family services ..

and i feel like a bad mummy when i lash out .. but it seems like he rarely behaves !!

this morning he wanted water from my water bottle but just sntached it out of my hands, i took it off him and said " ask nicely, say please " he just scratched me over and over .. ggrrrr

and earlier i caught him usuing his sister as a jumping platform !!!

:hugs:


oh and the more we try to control them the worse it gets !!

[lestyrox]

So now, I don't yell. I have my warning mummy-could-likely-smack-you voice - and he knows to obey that (most times) so I don't have to yell. Or I just ignore what he is doing, hence why the screaming tanties from him are so loud

yep i do that too, i've gotten to the point now where i just ignore it and tell him mummy can't hear him when he screams. There have been times when i'll give him a little smack on the hand if he's really bad and time out/yelling/ignoring haven't work. I feel terribel doing it though and i always swore i wouldn't be a smacker but else nothing works!! mind you smacking doesn't really work either, i gave him a smack on the hand this morning after what felt like the 10th tantie in less than and hour and he didn't react..nothing, didn't even blink just kept running around merrily and started playing with his toys..go figure.

Falguni- sounds like your DD is exactly the same as my DS..tanties started so early..it was like one day he just went from a baby to screaming toddler..i was shocked because i suddenly realised i needed to discipline him but being a first time mum i had no idea..it was like all of a sudden the real parenting had to begin and my romantic idea of having a cute placid little bub went out the window lol

Well she would certainly do well, if only you had more control of her." *****! She was very lucky i didn't say anything else i tell ya!

OMG!! the nerve of some people! i swear i would have knocked her out! I'm sure you were stressed enough and the last thing you needed was some nosy mole insulting you!geeez what a cow! I get the 'why aren't you controlling your child' look whenever i go (or try) shopping..it still drives me nuts but i've learnt to just look straight ahead and ignore the stares..motherhood has sort of been a crash course in confidence for me..i feel like a bit of a b#@ch sometimes when i'm out and i have to just ignore people or push through when people are in my way but if i don't then i nearly end up in tears...people are so rude to mums i reckons, especially when trying to shop with screaming kids and a full pram and no one will move out of the bloody way!... sorry getting a bit carried away lol

I do look at my friends placid kids and often wonder why mine is so out there though!

I'm guilty of this too, sometimes i look at my friends nice, calm kids and i think why have i been blessed with monsters! But then when i really think about it i wouldn't change them even if i could..plus i wouldn't expect anything less, DH is a very high energy and loud person so a placid bub just wouldn't fit in our family lol. It is hard though, i'm still trying to accept that thats just how my boys are.. i do get a bit resentful of mums of little angels though

[Arimeh]

I don't smack (anymore hehe) cos he has started smacking us! And how can I say to him not to cos its wrong to smack - and then I turn around and then do it to him? Mind you, it never clicked in my head until DH turned around and smacked him one day for biting him, then DS started to hit me

Its soooo hard to know what to do when your child isn't a placid one I'm right there with you on this one. Feel free to call me if you like and we can come up with some strategies together! lol

"The Mummies join forces against the tantruming toddlers"

[amberj]

I have a question- for all of you with full on toddlers (most of which seem to be boys!), how were they when they were babies? Were they difficult or lots of work then as well?

I guess I am trying to preparing myself for DS. He has lots of energy, must always be moving, and tends to get bored pretty quickly, but he is otherwise pretty easy going- doesn't get upset if you say no or take a toy away (easily distracted by something else), cries rarely, can occupy himself for about 10-15 minutes.

I am introverted and like quiet and know that to cope with a full on toddler, I need to prepare myself! Like all of you have said, I don't want DS to be anything other than what he is, but I do want to prepare myself!

So I am just wondering what your kids were like when they were littler and whether there are early indications of full on kids or whether they just kind of 'switch' into challenging toddlers?

Thanks!

[~clover~]

Hun my DD1 is turning 7 & is more difficult than both my other two!
She still throws tantrums, the screaming 2 year old type, almost every day.
Oh & my DS started with the tanty's at 9 months. I mean down on the ground screaming & throwing himself around for an hour or so.
My mum has said a few times she doesn't know anyone with 3 handfuls like mine, & she had 3 herself!
Noone else gets how hard it is though. But then they think its hard for them too, which I have no doubt it is, it just seems alot harder here.

[Arimeh]

Jessica - DS was - and always has and probably always will be - challenging.

[NaNa]

I got one of those kids too. DP worries a bit because I keep saying "I want a refund, mine's broken" after playgroup! I got a lot of helpful advice from The Fussy Baby Book (parenting your high-needs child) by Drs Sears. A lot of the stuff is on their website too. Most important thing to remember for me is to channel their energy (before an eruption!), not challenge it! We can't change or control them, but it certainly pushes you to be more creative with your discipline, entertainment and education of these intense kiddies! I wish I had a fraction of the energy my DS has, so I could keep up with him. Bless you for managing more than one kid like that!
And yeah, people are horrible to mums. Especially when you need it least. I got so irate at a man yesterday, who stood next to a shop door smoking and watched me struggle with a loaded pram to get out and down the step. Then when I had just got thru he pulled the door back an inch, and yelled "Say thank you! Ungrateful bi@#h..." at me! I just lost it, and gave him the filthiest look I could muster, which would kill at 100 paces, and said thru gritted teeth, "Thank you. Thank you for smoking and speeding up your demise. You really are too kind."

[lestyrox]

esp fights sleep to , and we shut all the windows at night whne its bed time or ppl would be likely to call family services ..

and i feel like a bad mummy when i lash out .. but it seems like he rarely behaves !!

Exactly the same here, i feel terrible when i yell or smack him but there's only so much screaming/tantruming/hitting/whinging a mum can take! I often worry that he'll have horrible memories of me yelling at him

One thing i wanted to ask you ladies, how do you cope with the stress? What strategies to you use to cool off when its all too much? I'm finding that i get to the point where i'm so angry or stressed that i turn into horrble cranky mummy and i hate the way i talk to DS1 sometimes because of it. I even got cranky at DS2 the other day (something along the lines of 'what the hell do you want?) and he's only a little baby..i felt absolutley terrible for rasing my voice at him i'd been trying to settle him for over an hour and i was just so frustrated

I have a question- for all of you with full on toddlers (most of which seem to be boys!), how were they when they were babies? Were they difficult or lots of work then as well?

well i don't have anything to compare them too since i've never had girls but yes, as soon as the boys were born they seemed to have such big personalities already.. both were really active in the womb as well and they both got the hiccups really early..like around 4months into my pregnancy! I read somewhere that when bubs hiccups they're trying out their lungs...well my boys sure have an awesome set of lungs on them! When DS2 started hiccupping early on inside me i just knew he's be a loud one just like his brother

[Junglemum]

Jessica- hmmmm i don't think their behavior as a baby is always a good indicator. DD was the most placid little baby. She honestly didn't cry for the first 3 months of her life, slept like a dream. We thought she had her dad's laid back personality. Then as she got older and became more aware it became very apparent she was much more like her mother!!! I'm pretty out there at times, so it is no surprise she is full on!

In contrast my cousins DD was a real handful as a baby, but is now a quiet shy two year old.

[lestyrox]

I got one of those kids too. DP worries a bit because I keep saying "I want a refund, mine's broken" after playgroup

hahaha yep i hear ya! Its horrible when my boys tanties can stop everyone in their tracks...even the mums with not so placid kids (but not like mine either lol) can't help staring.. he's just sooo loud!

I got so irate at a man yesterday, who stood next to a shop door smoking and watched me struggle with a loaded pram to get out and down the step. Then when I had just got thru he pulled the door back an inch, and yelled "Say thank you! Ungrateful bi@#h..." at me! I just lost it, and gave him the filthiest look I could muster, which would kill at 100 paces, and said thru gritted teeth, "Thank you. Thank you for smoking and speeding up your demise. You really are too kind."

Good on you for standing up for yourself and saying something! what a horrible man! I always think of something too late, usually when i'm driving home and cursing under my breath. Rude people just make your blood boil don't they?