I got one of those kids too. DP worries a bit because I keep saying "I want a refund, mine's broken" after playgroup! I got a lot of helpful advice from The Fussy Baby Book (parenting your high-needs child) by Drs Sears. A lot of the stuff is on their website too. Most important thing to remember for me is to channel their energy (before an eruption!), not challenge it! We can't change or control them, but it certainly pushes you to be more creative with your discipline, entertainment and education of these intense kiddies! I wish I had a fraction of the energy my DS has, so I could keep up with him. Bless you for managing more than one kid like that!
And yeah, people are horrible to mums. Especially when you need it least. I got so irate at a man yesterday, who stood next to a shop door smoking and watched me struggle with a loaded pram to get out and down the step. Then when I had just got thru he pulled the door back an inch, and yelled "Say thank you! Ungrateful bi@#h..." at me! I just lost it, and gave him the filthiest look I could muster, which would kill at 100 paces, and said thru gritted teeth, "Thank you. Thank you for smoking and speeding up your demise. You really are too kind."