Well hun heres some more and a thrown in the mix. I really cant even relate to how this must be for you to go through this every night, as none of mine was like this, except for when they were sick. I have been trying to think of what I did/do different with mine so I could help, but your already doing it. I do however standby the bath before bed, as well as a comforting massage, and then the nice warm milk, maybe even with some malt mixed into it (but make sure it is ok for toddlers first). Sometimes when a little one is overtired it is difficult to get them to sleep properly as well. I like the sound of the relaxing music too.
Goodluck once again.

Ohh and I dont think your little one is sleeping too much through the day, Little V still has a few naps through the day. I was just thinking, some little ones can get over stimulated before bed, like playtime before sleep might make them not want to sleep, I am not saying that is whats happening, but could be something else to think about.