Is it just me?

[littleberlin]

..Or does anyone else find it really confronting when your baby starts crying or grizzling, and they are told 'shhhh!'? I don't mean a calming, quiet noise either - I mean one tinged with 'please stop making that noise!' desperation - 'SSSSSSHHHHHH!'

My mother in law is looking after my daughter this afternoon whilst I try and get some work done (so most likely I shouldn't be on BellyBelly!), and I can hear her doing it now. I really want to go out there and say something...if a baby is grizzling because she is trying to tell us something (one of the few ways they can communicate as infants) - isn't it horrible to try and silence them? Imagine if you started telling someone - 'Oh, I'm so TIRED! I just really want to go to bed!', and were interrupted with - 'SSSHHH!'

Maybe I should have put this in the 'venting' thread - I just find it disrespectful, that's all. She's just letting us know what she needs!

[Artechim]

Yes it bothers me too! My mum and step father have an annoying habit of mocking DS with fake crying sounds if he cries in front of them. I find it really mean to make fun of him when he is only crying because he is frustrated/hurt.

[littleberlin]

Oh my God! That's awful! Have you tried to explain to them in adult terms why it upsets you - i.e. 'imagine how [I]you[I] would feel if I mimicked you whilst you cried...' ?

Sometimes I think people don't give children as much respect as they deserve - just because they are smaller than an adult, and altogether more adorable than an adult, that doesn't mean that their feelings and desires are less important, or their upset less acute. Being diminutive doesn't mean that you experience the range of human emotions any less intensely.

[Cassius2]

maybe your MIL is just a bit nervous about the baby crying as she is meant to be helping and knows that when a baby cries the mumma feels the pull to assist? no doubt she is just doing it without actually fully knowing it...more as a nervous/anxious response.

[littleberlin]

Oh, of course! I'm sure that's got something to do with it. I think it's just more the implication that Aurelia's communication needs to be silenced somehow that makes me feel uncomfortable, if you know what I mean. It's also really difficult to explain to people sometimes that when they interact with your child in certain ways, you feel that it sets a dangerous precedent for the future - especially when it's a parent-in-law, and you're not sure whether it's something that is easier to hear from their son, rather than their daughter-in-law.

[Rach75]

I know what you mean my MIL used to go on and on about Jack being so noisy other grandson was never this noisy blah blah (could be cause they shoved a dummy in his mouth 24/7) then she would tell jack to shoosh :mad:

[Visitor8]

I would go down and settle her myself if I was you.

I don't think getting annoyed at a baby for making ANY noise is ok. I mean ok I've got cross a couple of times, but it was never AT Ash, it was me and my issues at the time (upset, tired, exhausted) ...