Abbie is 7 months old and gradually she has gotten worse, if anyone i mean anyone (even DH) takes her off me to hold her cuddle her she whinges and whinges and eventually she cries real tears like they are hurting her. She stops immediately once she is handed back to me. I work from home so she is always with me, when i do house work she whinges but if she can't see me she is fine but once i walk past her she starts again. Is this just a phase she is going through, will she grow out of it or is it something that i need to just let her do. I do leave her with Dh and go out and that sort of thing and she is fine does not even worry her. But as soon as she sees me she whinges till i pick her up.
Any suggestions would be great!
I had the exact same problem with my youngest. He was a shocker - I couldn't even be on the otherside of a closed door to him and even if I was on the loo he would stand there crying his little heart out till I came out. And yep, he had a huge problem with being held by other people and would cry. In the end he would be 2 foot behind me everywhere I went and if we were out, as soon as anyone even looked like they were going to talk to him he would start crying and look around to see where I was. I peaked about 10mths and then started getting better. Now he still likes to know where I am, but he can deal with it kwim? And he doesn't have a problem with going to other people and Dad is his new best friend. If people talk to him now he will talk back to them etc. So while it's not a lot of fun while they are at their worst with it, there is light at the end of the tunnel and they do get better.
Must be a phase because that's what Emily does. She won't even go to dh at the moment. It's me, and me, and me, and no-one else!
Nina didn't do it, so I'm at a loss on what to do.
I am glad i am not the only one jodi, i just don't won't to let it go and it get worse and worse and worse and wait till she is older when it will be harder if there is something that i can do now to help her get over it i want to do it. Hope this makes sense
Yep i will say a phase.
DD went through this closer to 12 months.. and only just getting out of it now.
Even if DH was with her she would scream and cry! until she saw me again
Im reading a book at the moment which says separation anxiety starts at around 6 months and they can't tell that you're coming back, so they get upset (not all bubs of course). Im not sure when they start to realise you will be back, but there is an age, so I would say it's a phase. They suggest just cuddling and making sure baby feels safe with you. The old advice was to get them used to it.... but nowadays they say the more secure they feel with you, the more independent they will become. (Once toddlers different story, but for bubs this is what my book says). I think it's called Heart to Heart parenting, got it from the ABC shop, fantastic! xo
It is a stage. DS used to go to a daycare and would be fine when we left, fine while we were gone but then once we came back there was no letting go of him.
She needs to build her confidence that she will be ok while you are gone and that you come back. You can help with this by not forcing her to leave your arms if she doesn't want to and respect her her need to come back to you when she shows that she wants that. Of course there will be situations when you do need to leave. In those situations try and make sure she is with someone who she also feels comfortable with - like she obviously does with your DH. Forcing her into situations she isn't comfortable with (or people) will make her less confident so don't feel pressured to do this in the hope that "she will learn to be independent". Independence comes from being confident and secure within your family circle not from being pushed into uncomfortable situations. So by cuddling her and responding to her needs won't in any way make a 'rod for her back' as some people may say, but will in fact help her grow up emotionally secure.
I hope this helps!
ps. the book Mumma2girls mentioned is a book I would also recommend. It is very good, well researched and the author is a child development psychologist.
Is this just a Phase???????
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