Oh dear, sounds like you are really stressed out about it!

Have you tried giving her tasks to help you? Around 2-3yo they love "helping" mummy with anything that you deem important - can she get you the wipes when you change baby? Make a big song and dance about how she's such a big girl now, helping mummy to change baby's nappy! Likewise can she get your drink bottle while you are feeding? What if she sits with you and "feeds" her baby/dolly?

Are there special books you can read while you are feeding? TV shows she can watch?

I don't remember much about those first few weeks - such a blur - but I think the TV was on a lot Whatever helps.