One of my siblings is adopted but looks lots like me (genetic osmosis again!). Another sibling was born to our parents but has red hair and different colouring to the rest of us kids. (Dad used to have red hair but it's gone darker as he got older). If people found out that one of us was adopted, they would look at the red head!
It didn't bother us that much, the adoption wasn't a secret and wasn't something to be ashamed of. At times, when the folks were embarassing, we all tried to claim that we shared no genetic links!
If anyone has ever made any comments about my babies I haven't heard them.
Lots of people play the guessing game where they try to figure out our background but it's not in a rude way - there are people from so many cultures in our suburb.
Growing up, we lived in a very multicultural enough area, and this is where I got the 'abo' slurs (man, how easy it would have been to just say "yes, I am, and proud of it"!). I now live in a bit of a 'whitebread' area, and this is where people politely assume I'm a kiwi!
If anyone ever questioned my dad about me, I never heard it. He is typically Celtic and I remember being slightly self-conscious and expecting people to ask him, when we'd be out together. I've got dark curly hair, which if it weren't for my skin tone would be much easier to attribute to my dad (who had dark hair before it turned white in his 20's, and it's very curly if he lets it grow beyond half a millimetre!), and olive sort of skin. Unless I've blocked it out, no-one said anything to us!
I get this a bit about Angus as he has an olive complexion and thick dark brown hair and he looks totally different from his brothers. I have the dark hair but not the skin tone. I have pasty white and freckly Irish skin.
Most ask if he has a different father (no ) and the funny thing is that my DH was the odd looking one from his family being the only fair skinned redhead and his mum used to cop the same questions!
If people really push it I tell them there is Maori and Lebanese going back a few generations (which there is on MIL's side) so he is a genetic throwback Never had anything bad said about it just nodding and wow how interestings!
I think we'd be hard pressed NOT to find kids of mixed ethnic parentage these days. Especially here.
Well i'm Singaporean too! I am of Malay/Indian background. And yeah, we get those comments as well, but it's all been positive, if not funny. DH is Aussie with Italian heritage and DD is his mini me, or mini miss, rather I didn't even get a look in! We figured she'd have brown eyes as it is dominant and we both have brown eyes, but hers are a green grey. I'm so jealous I'm quite fair so she's got this nice honey colour which i hope won't burn under the sun as her dad is Lobster Man when he's at the beach.
Once we were at Paddys markets and some American tourists were oohing and aahing and even though there I was pushing the pram, beaming as new parents often do, and the tourists automatically look at my SIL next to me and go, "you have a bewdeeful baby."
Hubby joked that they might have reckoned I was the nanny! Needless to say he got a whack in the arm for that one.
As Russel Peters the comedian said, in 200 years we're all going to be beige anyway. I'm just doing my bit now!
Wow, we all have so many interesting experiences!!
I love the genetic osmosis stories!! Some ppl just look at one feature and try to match it up and look so clever! It's funny that ppl expect you to explain all your genetic makeups.
Ppl here and in Malaysia do come up and say that Lakshman's cute etc. and I always agree with them lol, just like any mother would.
We were in M'sia in June and had a few days in Spore, and were in the MRT(light rail transit) and an elderly couple were sitting next to me. DH was standing and L was with me in a sling. The man said he wanted to see what Lakshman looked like, so I moved his hat a little. Then this man, says 'oh, he doesnt look like you huh, he looks like your husband'. I could have slapped this man.. then my well meaning aunt says, 'he's so clever to choose his father's colouring' wtf! LOL!!!
My family's very mixed, Indians, Chinese, Malays (the 3 majority ethnic groups, it's multicultural but not as Oz) plus Caucasion (DH), Nigerian etc. But still it doesnt stop them from being insular!!!
LOL - I think tact is not in the genes of lots of Malaysians. One of my bestfriends from school, lives in Syd too. She's half Chinese, half Indian and her husband is blond w blue eyes and her 2 daugthers are absolutely gorgeous. She told me the other day, when she was back in Msia and out with her mum, who's Chinese, her mum introduced her to a friend and this later said 'Oh is that your daughter, I thought she was your maid!! (as there are Filipino women who work as domestic help there and my friend has similar colouring)!
My MIL said next time ppl ask how come Lakshman's fair and you're dark, just say 'Is that so, I never noticed that before!'
Yeah, I'm sure Lakshman grows up, his generation of kids will be all from various backgrounds it won't matter. We live in a muliticultural neighbourhood too.
I wonder if we had #2, will he/she take after me. Then we'll have our day and night, and we cannot exist without the other.. hehe.
Did you guys hear about the German couple who had twins? The father was German Caucasion and the mother was Ghanian, and they had twins, and 1 was white and the other black. How amazing is that!!!!
Oh, my word, I have had experience with Malaysians (good friends, I'm not slagging them!) and yeah, does tact get removed at birth?? LOL!
Unfortunately, my DS' Mayan heritage is diluted with Irish (half of what I am), and English (which, if you go by thinking in terms of the false concept of 'race', means he is really mixed 'race' right there!), so I don't really get comments about him...and I wish I did, because I'm losing my connection to that side of things! But I'd probably be really sick of it after the first day.
For myself, being half and half, the only comments I really got were when I was little, from other kids who called me 'Abo'...which disgusted me so vehemently because I thought 'what if I really was? How much more offensive would that be?', as well as "well I wish I was, cos that would be easier to explain, as well as being a great thing to 'own up' to" (geez, I was a bit progressive for a 7 year old, cos I clearly remember thinking that and talking about it with my parents).
I guess I have always existed on the fringes of 'mainstream', so I can tell you that your child will be able to overcome this rudeness (should it continue) and possibly even become a very resilient person because of it. It's an extra 'something' that you can turn into a blessing or a burden.
In more recent years my appearance causes confusion because sometimes I'll wear some pendants from New Zealand, so without clarifying what my heritage is people will just assume that's what it is and when something about NZ comes up, they will ask what I know about it! This causes more embarrassment than if someone just straight up asks me what my background is (a far nicer question than where I'm from..."no, where are you originally from? No, well, where did your parents come from then?" Ugh, how rude! As if being born in Carlton isn't a good enough explanation for my existence for them to decide if I'm worthy!). It is also confusing when I mention my sister who now lives in NZ - I now recognise the knowing nod and that it will be later followed up with "so how long have you been here", so I have to explain that my sister married a kiwi and that we're not kiwi.
So, it's the constant explanations that your DS might have to incorporate into his life and his interactions with people
I love what this bit of diversity in me has brought to my life - inherent acceptance and appreciation of 'difference'
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) and the funny thing is that my DH was the odd looking one from his family being the only fair skinned redhead and his mum used to cop the same questions!
Never had anything bad said about it just nodding and wow how interestings!
I didn't even get a look in! We figured she'd have brown eyes as it is dominant and we both have brown eyes, but hers are a green grey. I'm so jealous
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