Mornings With Baby & Partner

[fionas]

I'm in a slightly different situation to other people in that my partner works shifts so often when our DD wakes up at 6am, he's only been asleep for 3 hours.

For a few months, DD slept in the main bedroom with me and DP slept in the spare room - and that worked well. Then, because we're renovating, DP had to move back into the main bedroom and that started giving me the irrits. My usual routine when she woke (usually around 6am) had been to go and get her a bottle, hop back into bed with her, feed her then play while listening to the news. Basically, delaying getting out of bed and up and at em for as long as possible! But it was my favourite part of the day.

But when DP shifted back into the main bedroom, I felt like I shouldn't wake him and felt like I should be as quiet as a mouse, not talk to DD and not listen to the news. So I of course ended up getting up with DD and going down to the lounge room so as not to wake him.

I should say that all this was self-imposed and DP always said not to worry about waking him, but I guess I'm just too considerate!

Anyhow, we have now reached a happy compromise and have a rule that if he comes to bed after midnight then he sleeps in the spare room (which now has a bed again) and if he decides to sleep in the main bedroom then it's on the understanding that me and DD will be playing/chatting/laughing.

But all this made me wonder about what other people do and how they handle wake-ups during the night and that first morning wake-up. Do you try not to wake your partner, does he sleep in a separate room or does your DD/DS sleep in a separate room and you go to them?

[widdly]

i guess every family wuld do things their own way. I have to admit, i love it when DH is on night shift, he doesn't finnish til 8:30, that gives DS and i an hour to play and snuggle in bed together, my fav part of the day too.

In our house mine and DH's relationship is extremely important and we would both feel like we weren't as....connected, i guess, if he or i were kicked out of the bed to make room for DS. There have been many times where DH has gone out on the town and come home p!ssed and reeking of alcohol and ciggies and has ended up sleeping on the couch, but other than that our bed is our bed.

If i were in your current situation i would do as you have been doing and take bub out to the lounge room, maybe you could have a pillow and blanket out there and still have your bottle/snuggly/news time in there?

For night wakeups when DS was younger, if DH was working i would do most if not all of the wakeups. Now though we do 50/50 no matter what, not sure why, it has just worked out that way, i think as DS gets older, DH seems to take on a lot more of the tasks involving him.

GL with it, shift work sux (the pay is good though), hope you both find a way to a happy restful solution

[Bathsheba]

When our 20 month old DS wakes up at 6am -7am DH goes and gets him from the nursery and brings him into our bed for me to feed. He then might stay for a snuggle with us both or head off to iron his shirt/shower for the day. I usually get up at 7.30am. Then my 4yo is awake and the day has well and truely begun! On weekends it's a bit more tricky as we both want a sleep-in but have to deal with the kids. I often get a sleep-in on a Saturday and DH gets his on Sundays.

If I was in your situation I would have a futon roll in the lounge (or a pull out sofa bed) set up and ready the night before where I could go with my baby in the morning because I'd be like you and not want to disturb my partner... maybe you could turn on the tv to listen to the news instead... making sure the sound was low and the room still dark just incase bubs wanted to drifts off again for a while.

[Tobily]

Both of our kids are early risers but DS is the earliest of them all and it's not unusual for him to want out of bed at 5.30am. DH and I tend to play tag team - if I have been up during the night he will get up with Toby at the crack of dawn regardless of who has to work that day and would be getting up anyway kwim. Since I'm still breastfeeding I do most of the night wakings which means DH gets the morning joy most of the time.

Toby will usually have his weetbix then park himself outside the closed bedroom door and headbutt it, kick it, scream and yell until I grant him entry so he may come in and destroy our room or help himself to breakfast while I lay in the bed willing myself to get out.

That's pretty much our morning deal

[Erin_25]

My DH works shift work, day shift is from 6.30am to 6.30pm & the opposite for night shift & 7days a week. So our DS is in his own nursery, this works best for us as he is not woken early by DH when he gets ready to head to work & he doesn't wake him when he gets home from night shift.
Though usually after a night shift DH likes to wind down with a drink & a bit of toast.....so we are up before he heads to bed & he just pops the earplugs in & we try to head out for the morning.
It gets easier as they get older, as DS now often sleeps through & wakes up chatting to himself...so I lie in bed talking myself into getting up LOL til he is ready to get out. Or he has a 4-5am feed & sleeps til 8am.
But shift work is a pain & yes I used to bring DS into bed with me for & watch sunrise if he was up too early , but if DH was there sleeping I just hop out of bed a deal with it that day. I also do all the night wake ups unless there are several & I need a hand or DH is on his days off.
With that roster we need as much time together as possible, so I find we need our bed & having DS in his own room is the best thing for us.

[Lucy]

I was lucky.......DH can sleep through anything!

With all 3 of mine I would give them that early morning feed in our bedroom in my nursing chair (we have a beautiful old Victorian nursing chair)....so a little away at least from DH's sleeping form......with the radio on low. After a smoochy whispery cuddle, often they would drop off again on the boob, so I would then pop them back to bed for an hour or so.....