Thanks everyone...

Will think about time outs - the issue is where to put him as the most "boring" and suitable place is actually in the hallway outside his brother's room (and his room) so when little B2 is napping, this is not a good place. Plus it is outside one of the bathrooms which he thinks is a play room (another thing he doesn't listen to - and he can reach the door handle!). The other place is in the hallway right inside the front door - that may be where we resort to for time outs. Tell me, how do you get your toddler to sit for the time out period (I understand it's 1 minute per year of age).

As for taking things away - favorite toy/tv time etc. - he doesn't have a favorite toy - he's as happy with a cardboard box as he is with any other toy and to date, he hasn't played on our iPad or anything like that. He's also not a huge enough fan of tv for that to matter to him (we've tried and he just doesn't care). The only thing he really, really cares about are his "blankies" - if I took these away, it would be like the world was coming to an end. I have very mixed feelings about using his comforter (they aren't toys) as a punishment tool. What do you think? this sure would be a punishment but it also feels cruel.

I can't put DS1 (toddler in car) when I'm holding DS2 (infant) - we weren't using a pram - just a quick run into day care for pick-up - if I did have the pram, toddler son would go in first. I guess I could use the pram, but I would rather him learn to listen when it comes to something so important as I'd only be setting up the pram to take infant DS2 from car to front door of daycare, then would have to take him out, walk in to pick up toddler, restrap infant son in, walk the couple meters to the car and so on and so on - a lot more work when toddler son should be able to follow a simple request to hold on to the pole or mommy's leg (rather than run!)

You are all right - it is so frustrating...and kind of a shock to our system as he used to be such a compliant little fellow!