My 3 year old seems to be lazy...

[Visitor8]

Why would he want to pick up when you've not made him do it any other time? He's had it easy, make a big mess and mum cleans up!

I had 2 boys 14 months apart, and now I have 3 boys 5 and under and they always clean up after themselves, Ashton has even started picking up his blocks when I help him.

It is important to teach them early, we have the same rule here that when you've finished playing with one thing then you put it away to get something else out. I don't clean up after the boys. I refuse. They have 2 legs and 2 arms and are quite capable to scattering the lego from one side of the room to the other so they must be quite capable of cleaning it up too!

I don't think he is lazy at all. I think you've just done it all the time and he doesn't see why suddenly he has to do it!

If it were me I would start taking the toys away and putting them somewhere so he cant have them. He will soon learn to clean them up when asked! The boys only just got their dressups back after being in the cupboard for 3 months because they refused to pick them up one day. By 1.5 years old each of the boys have helped clean up their toys without an issue, by 2.5 they do it themselves.

[Bathsheba]

Firespiral raises an intersesting point: a 3yo doesn't really perceive that when toys are lying around as a mess. They have a totally different take on it. To them it's just toys that are on the floor. They don't have a negative view of it because it doesn't bother them. I have to try really hard to make sure I don't guilt them out for having a different perspective. I know it seems like most days they make a mess just to "spite" me but they don't. Instead I hope to teach them that being tidy is not just an abstract concpet but has practical benefits that they can understand. When they lose something for example... this is a great opportunity to say "Hey, maybe next time we'll make sure we put it back in the right place so we don't lose it... it's awful when something gets lost isn't it?" In an ideal world i'll also have the patience to follow this through! LOL it all comes down to making it relevant to them at each stage of development.

[firespiral]

it all comes down to making it relevant to them at each stage of development.

totally .. then it's about them developing insight and learning alongside you,
rather than 'doing what they are told', which teaches nothing.
Attachment parenting at it's best

[Nelle]

That's interesting about 3 year olds needing different reasons to stay tidy than parents. I think I'll keep that in mind when encouraging tidiness.

Great thread Tan. As for the loo - can you give him a reward for doing it on his own? Maybe even say 'you need to do it on your own so I can go and get you a lolly' or something?