i didnt really read fully through your other responses but just wanted to give you some support. i totally understand cause my DD1 was the same. it was soooo hard because (this may sound selfish) i kinda felt trapped at times.. no one else would do for her and so it was basically up to me and me only ALL the time.

I felt guilty also because my DH felt bad that he couldnt help and that she didnt like him.(well he felt she didnt like him) i also felt a little resentful at times.. (sheesh i am being very honest here arent i) :-)

but now they are really close. they have a really great relationship, the older she got the better she got. so dont know if that was very helpful but sometimes it makes you feel better to know that others have been in the same position and it gets better. :-)