zap, I've umm and ahhed about posting.

HTH a little bit. I'm certainly no expert, but it's what has helped me. hope it passes soon.

I'm another one with an angry little chicken...what worked...ummm

I agree with EJ I learned to pick my battles.
I have to try really hard to remember she isn't doing it to personally irritate me. She's frustrated and the feelings she's feeling (complex ones) are new to her. She doesn't know how to vocalise. Can I give her an option?
Is it safe to leave her and say "when you've finished let me know and I'll try and help you" I have been known to just pick up a screaming child without a word and pop them in their room/return to the car and go home. I know it's so much harder when you're really pregnant. I don't use time out but their room is safe and quiet (all our toys are in the playroom) and often mine just need some space to deal with it themselves. I just tell them I will deal with their problem when they can speak to me. I don't have children that will let me get down and cuddle them when they're melting down - it only makes it worse for us all.
Is she hungry? angry? lonely? tired?
Am I expecting too much of her? Can I help her do what I want?
Does offering a phrase rather than a demand (the toys go in the box rather than pick up your toys!) and then starting the action avert a meltdown?
Will giving an option avert a meltdown?
Can the meltdown wait two seconds while I walk away and count to ten and then deal with it calmer?

I tend to find reasoning only really works as they get older, but that may be just my kids.