Need help with getting DD (2) to sleep

[Nadine216]

I am having the hardest time getting dd to go to sleep!! I?m at my wit?s end and am totally stressed out. And with the new baby, it?s chaos in my house in the evening and I really can?t cope with the crying. DH is a real hero, he is helping me so much. We are taking turns putting her into bed.

She keeps screaming and saying that she does not want to sleep and keeps getting out of bed. We tried the put-her-back-each-time-she-gets-up routine, but have resorted to going back to lying down with her to keep her in bed. She gets tired and unreasonable (I know, I know she?s only 2) and then the tantrums comes and then she cries and eventually she just passes out.

We have taken away her dummy ? she had a little sore in her mouth and told me the dummy hurts her, so after that I just did not give it back and every time she asks for it (it gets less and less now) I just tell her the dummy hurt and she says yes and that?s the end of it. She still gets some milk in a bottle for bed time, but only like 100ml and cold out the fridge.

I?m sure she is just at a stage where she is testing us, because she tries everything to NOT sleep. She sings, talks, try getting out, cries, ask for more milk, ask where everyone is (even the cat) sings some more, talk some more. Eventually she gets tired, but then she starts hitting and kicking when we try and keep her in bed and then things just gets out of hand ? we keep to our rules, but it?s tiring and we are really on edge atm

I can?t really wait for her to get tired and fall asleep where she plays (I don?t believe she will fall asleep while playing), because if I do she is tired the next day. Her bedtime is around 8pm, depending on what she did for the day. If there were a party at day-care we try getting her into bed a bit earlier.

HELP US PLEASE, any idea?s, any tips, any words of wisdom, anything!!!

We have tried the Rescue remedy for sleeplessness and it works, BUT DH is concerned about the alcohol content, so we stopped using that. I got some other darn expensive homeopathic pillutes (? - little tablets,like cous-cous), but that does not work, it made her vomit (???!!!)

[Visitor8]

aww hun hugs to you. What a tough situation. I was there once

How long did you try the putting her back thing? Did you do the silence as well? I found as soon as I did it correctly Jaidan stopped getting up.

He was 16 months at the time. I would put him to bed, read a story, tuck him in, kisses and cuddles and say goodnight, close the door and leave. He would get up and the first time I would say time for bed and put him back and say goodnight. The second, third, fourth, etc times I would just put him back and leave. It took a few weeks for it to work though.

My sisters 2 year old is the same. He gets up and mucks around and when she puts him back he cried like the world is ending. But after a couple of weeks of doing what I did he has stopped getting up.

Good luck. I know it's really hard

[Je$$_84]

Oh HUgs. I'm sure all of us have gone through this at least once.

Round that age my DS started doing the same thing. Which is why we went to a big bed. It was like a novelty and since then we havent had many issues. We made a big deal about the new bed and his great new doona etc. it made bed time a bit exciting and he was asking to go to sleep. Have you considered a night light that cast shadows or projects images on the walls and roof??? I found the kids love seeing pictires move around and while watching the music sooths them to sleep.

Maybe try warm milk?? might help her wind down. Also cammomile tea is good for settling down and calming. I make DS a weak one with a little honey when he's beeing a nitemare. Maybe a reward system. everytime she goes to bed without a fuss she gets a sticker. at the end of the week she gets a treat??

[Arimeh]

Is she still having a day sleep mate?

[Nadine216]

Sorry I'm only coming back to this now ... anyone has some spare hours in the day that they can out-source to me????

missy - We tried about two weeks the back-to-bed thing. And then the only thing we said were: "Hun, back to bed, its time to sleep now" I think I waited to long to get her out the cot and into a big bed

Jess - I'll try the moving nightlight. She has an en suite so I usually just left the bathroom light on, but that is only AFTER I got her to go to sleep. If there is light in the room, she does not want to sleep. Blooming summer does not contribute, thought!! Gets dark around 8:30 - 9:00 pm. I'll try to use a reward system ... don't know if she is still a bit to small for that.

Arimeh - yes, she does. She takes about 1 1/2 to 2 hours during the day. She is in daycare and they are also reasonabily strict with nap times.

Things are still not really better. Last night I fell asleep while trying to get dd to sleep and woke with a fright and she was laying there singing. It took me 60 minutes to get her to sleep. Then she woke at 11:00 crying. She told me she was scared and that she wanted to sleep in my bed. So I moved her over (we have been moving her to our room for the summer, due to the a/c. She has been sleeping on the floor, but have climbed into our bed later in the night) Then she woke again at 2am, crying. She cried and cried and cried. Did not want water, told me she was not scared, she did not have a fright, no she's not cold, no she's not hot, no she does not want to do loo. I even checked her diper for worms ... could not see any. So DH stripped and took her to her room, placed her in her bed and walked to the kitchen to get a cooldrink. She gave one bloodcurling scream and got out of bed and ran to him, shouting his name and sobbing. She was visibily shaken and scared and when we ask her why, she said she is scared of her room (WTF??!??!) So back into my bed with me and daddy went and slept in her room. She was awake till 4am crying and moaning and not settling

Ok, so we have decided that even if this cost us a fortune, we are getting to the bottom of this. Tonight I'm taking down her Minnie Mouse poster (looked scary to me last night, so might be to her too) and putting the flashlight close to her bed, so I can check for worms again. I'm leaving the bathroom light on again. We are taking her this avro to the ciro, so he can check her spine (she has a crooked butt-crack and sometimes complains that it hurts) so I just want to eliminate back-pain. I am even willing to keep an open mind and try some "spell" to keep evil spirit (or any spirits for that matter) out of the room. It's an old house, so I ... don't want to go there!

If that does not work, we are going to the pead for a checkup on her tummy and her intestines. She was a premmie, so DH seems to think that there are problems with regards to her intestines. We need to eliminate that, so we have to go for a scan. Maybe she swallowed something that is hurting her inside ... she is complaining about tummyache alot lately.

I have to add that the past weekend she was sick. I figure just a tummy bug. She vomitted three times, but no poo's. So on Thuesday I gave her a supository, because her tummy has not gone for THREE days!! So not like her, and she was complaining. The supository took 4 hours (!!!!) to work, but when it did ... it worked. We even had her at the GP, but he could find nothing wrong .. no fever. We tried getting a urine sample, but she would have nothing of it. I'll get another bag today and catch something to have that tested for EVERYTHING imaginable.

So what more is there I can eliminate?? She has a fairly solid bedtime routine, she eats good during the day .. dinners are a bit more of a struggle. I was thinking about asking the day-care to keep some lunch for me for her for dinner, because she does not eat my cooking, but ask for seconds at daycare. How is a mother's heart suppose to survive that!!!

Anything anyone else can think of???

[Ezz]

So what more is there I can eliminate?? She has a fairly solid bedtime routine, she eats good during the day .. dinners are a bit more of a struggle. I was thinking about asking the day-care to keep some lunch for me for her for dinner, because she does not eat my cooking, but ask for seconds at daycare. How is a mother's heart suppose to survive that!!!

Anything anyone else can think of???

It may not be that she prefers daycare food - it could just be the time of day (ie lunch vs. dinner).

Re. sleeping - is she scared of being alone (rather than actually being scared of her room)? My DS will only fall asleep if I lie on the floor next to his cot - he hates it when I leave the room. My friend's 2yo has just started to get "scared" too - I wonder if it's a developmental thing (as they develop imagination etc)??

[Nadine216]

It may not be that she prefers daycare food - it could just be the time of day (ie lunch vs. dinner).

Could be, I'm so stumped by this, I'm thinking like a mom!!!

I don't think it's being scared, it's something else she is is pain. I do feel that she does get scared, but that is not the main reason why this is happening.

As I'm typing this DH is driving her to the ER. He have had enough. He said a true thing ... maybe there are a BIG problem and we are doing nothing. And I agree. I'd rather have some dr tell me that I'm overprotective and that it's only worms/ear infection/what-ever, than me having to deal with losing my baby!!!!
So my heart is aching, because I have to stay at home and watch ds and open shop tomorrow. I can't sleep now anyway, not that I would have. DD were crying from 11:30 again tonight. It's now 1:45am. She only settles when I have her on my shoulder ... she is 11kg That's a lot to carry while pacing the diningroom! I packed her a bag, but have no idea what I slapped into it. My MIL is driving with DH, so she can keep him company and hold dd. The hospital is about 60 minute's drive away. He'll call me when he gets there.

I really hope that this is nothing and that we are just overreacting. If the drs find nothing wrong, our next step is a child counsellor or something. Maybe she is high-strung and we are not working correctly with her, or maybe (heaven forbid) she is being molested and that is what is causing her to be this distraught. See ... thinking all kinds of weird unthinkable things!!

[StrawberryMumma]

Hey hunny, how did things go? x

[Nadine216]

Hi Lee, thanks for asking ...

They could find nothing wrong with her. They gave her some pain supositories and send her home with a little bag to catch some urine. (she woke up saying: "mommy baggie hurts" - poor thing) She had the worst night. DH said the dr that were on call at the ER was not only the biggest man he has ever seen, but also the blackest!! Poor dd she was so scared of him, but he was really gentle with her and DH said he looked her over pretty good and were very helpfull. Poor dd were just so scared of him. She was pretty out of it when they got home at 4am. We all were .. ok, not the little man. He slept like an angel

I went to the hospital with her again the next morning .. her urine was clean so no UTI. Good news, bad news .... I had her checked AGAIN and they found nothing wrong with her. So I asked to be given a name of a paed that I can see. Luck would have it .. the paed were not on call, so they refered me to a private paed and he agreed to see me even though I did not have an appointment. AWSOME!!

He was great, he checked her over again. Listened to me moan about not getting sleep, how I was worried and how that if there truely is nothing wrong with her, he needs to send me in the right direction to get her/us the help we need to get some sleep. Well, nothing wrong with her. He says that he is pretty sure it's just night terrors and that she gets disorientated when waking up and that is why she is hard to settle and keeps crying. He refered me to a counsellor and gave me a script for a seditive for dd to help her sleep .. and maybe break the routine she is in now. I just LOVED this paed. He had a room full of patients and he took TIME to listen to me and help me. Ranted about how for a 2 year old, dd had a great vocabulary and her sentence construction were just as good. He put my mind at ease that it's nothing sinister that is bothering dd and that it's just growing up.

So Friday night she slept great. She woke up at about 00:20 and came walking down the hall, I got her and she was a bit fussy, but I laid down with her and she quickly went back to sleep. Slept till about 6:30am. DH and I got a GREAT night of sleep, but most importaned ... DD got a great night of sleep. She was in bed tonight at about 7:15 and were far off in dreamland at 7:45. Has been sleeping soundly and no crying .. yet.

We are going to give her this seditive for the next 7 days and then see if there are an improvement. If not, we are going to the counsellor for a session. Just to hear what he has to say and if they can help us.

Bottom line ... we are all rested and dd is sleeping.

I'm still concerned about the worms, because she still pinch her bottom sometimes. I'll just keep an eye on her and see if it's nessesary to de-worm her agian .. it could not hurt, could it??