Mkay, big response coming up. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm constantly saying 'yep, tried that, didn't work'. It's not that I'm not very grateful for your suggestions (I am!) but it really is a bit like that here, I feel like we've tried so much already! I absolutely howled my eyes out putting her down for her second nap today, she was tired and just fought and fought until she was overtired. I've nutted out a few things I want to try though.
Wysiwyg - that's really reassuring, thank you. My instincts tell me to cosleep, it makes waking up for feeds and feeding so much easier, and I just love it. I've also heard that sometimes older siblings sleep picks up a bit when the next one came along, hope that's the case here!
Clover - thank you. DH does all of the night settling...I'd go mad if he didn't. He also has started working really easy short shifts in the early evening, so he's beginning to be home during the day too. He will bounce her to sleep, generally pretty effectively. We've tried letting her wander, because all the lights etc do go off when we try and put her to bed. She will just tantrum that she can't get into the bathroom or will play for hours before whinging and whining. We usually stick to a new routine for at least a month, it's generally pretty obvious what is going to work and what won't by 2-3 weeks.
MadB, I've read you mention this before and I'm really interested to know more, where do I start? DD seemed to be more irritable and restless, maybe had a tummy ache too, when we were giving her painkillers. I'm not sure if it was related or not, but it's worth trying with the diet changes. It's not something we've tried before so definitely worth looking into, seeing as all this madness with her sleep started at 6 months...which is when she started teething, but I also realised last night, was when we started introducing solids.
3LM - I wish that would work with DD, but I don't think it would. I lie with her, stroke her hair and back, pat her bum etc and she gets up, throws herself around, cries, tries to play, tantrums when I don't let her etc. She'd probably squash a feeding DD2 lol
Arte - I think this might be key. She is used to sleeping in our bed, I think getting her her own bed (we'd get her a double) would help a lot. Because at the moment, due to me not being able to get on the floor, I'm putting her to sleep in our bed and DH puts her to sleep in her room. If she had her own bed, either DH or I could put her to sleep there, it would be more constant for her. DH already does all the night settling and usually ends up staying in there and sleeping with her after the second or third wake up, we have another cot mattress on the floor. We've tried all sorts of bedtimes, from 7.30 until 10.30. Her average time she tends to fall asleep has been about 9.30 since birth, but lately she'll cry etc and push that to 10.30 or 11. It generally takes 45 minutes to put her to bed at night, and an hour during the day.
Starangelk - I love that idea. I think you're right, I think she may have had a lot of pain or something, maybe was sick for a while, and had a hard time sleeping, and has now associated bedtime with that. I love the idea of the audiobooks and the projector. I'm going to get onto that ASAP and make it part of this new routine we're trying to nut out. Again, I think getting her a proper double bed will make her feel more at home too. We have special music we listen to, but it's possible she has some negative associations with that too.
Fionas - I'll give her a go with no daytime nap. Generally though, in fact always, she is wrecked after being up for about 3 hours. If she even only has one nap a day, she really struggles and it's just constant whinging and crying.
Novella - Good to know about the beds. I'm definitely not worried about DD rolling out, she's good at getting out of our bed which is taller than her lol. So a nice low frame double should be fine I reckon. Plus we have a spare cot mattress that we got just for putting next to her bed in case she falls out.
Veus - Thanks. I haven't heard of them but I'll look it up. We tried the Brauers homeopathic stuff and didn't find it made a difference unfortunately.
Jakabella - I feel like she's overtired about 30 minutes after a nap honestly! I'm not sure why. We've tried no naps, 3 naps as everything inbetween and there hasn't been a huge difference. She's always changing what works lol. This morning she napped an hour and a half after she woke up and had a really good sleep, then refused to sleep until she had a brief nap at 3...she was exhausted since about 12 but wouldn't sleep.
Olive - I was reading about it last night actually. Definitely having another look into it now.
HotI - that's reassuring. It's good to remember that hey, sometimes we just get by, because we have to. It's good to know there are people put there who have done it before that I can cry to for help lol!
Hope - I spend every day watching for tired signs lol. Even if I go an hour before she shows any signs, we get the same. Like I said before, she seems constantly overtired, she definitely often looks overtired. It's weird.
OK, we're doing failsafe, more or less. I won't lie to you - it's full on and hard work. Google failsafe and fed up, you'll get the idea.
Looking back, I really think both my kids got worse with food and now we know they're both sensitive to salycilates. Symptoms = frequent waking, irritability, tantrums, etc. Salycilates are in all fruit and most veg and a bunch of other things besides. We can have pears and bananas (as we're ok with amines), and a small range of vegies. This gives you some idea of the restrictions on the diet!
If you really want to explore this, I'd suggest talking to a dietician to plan out what you're going to do. you really need to do it properly - otherwise it just won't work and you'll be wasting your energy. So, best to attempt when you feel ready to take on a project. Possibly this is not this time... depends how motivated you are and how much help you have with meal planning and preparation. It's something that will take months, not a few days or weeks.
It will work out ok - you'll figure out something to get you through with two children, just as you have with one. It just takes time and a bit of trial and error.
ETA - I think my DD has eaten a fair percentage of the fur off her teddy. gross.
Need suggestions for DD's sleep
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