Number Two (Baby) - Harder or Easier Than Expected

[fionas]

I have very limited time to decide whether to have another child (I'm almost 39) and my DD is only 8 months old.

I know that if we don't try, I will regret it in a few years time but equally, I'm really not sure how I would handle two littlies bearing in mind:

1. I had SPD (unstable pelvis) with DD1 from Week 28 until about six months after she was born. This made it difficult and very painful to walk, stand or bend. As you can imagine, that makes caring for a baby tricky and also difficult to get out of the house which has a negative effect on my mood. It was also very difficult for my partner to understand why I couldn't do stuff and that put a huge strain on our relationship which is only just getting better. This may happen again (the SPD) for no.2.

2. I had a lot of difficulty breastfeeding. My milk didn't come in until Day 6 and I spent the first two weeks spending 2.5 hours out of every 3 feeding (breast, formula, EBM) and the next two months expressing between three and five times per day (up to an hour per time).

I sound very negative but I'm just trying to be realistic - if both those situations repeated for no.2, it would be extremely difficult to look after two littlies. I love my DD to bits and if I had a few years up my sleeve would DEFINITELY be going for number two, but I don't have that luxury.

So ... my question is, was having two babies close together easier or harder than you imagined?

[visitor1]

Mine are very close (under 11 months) and TBH....i find it alot easier then what i thought and expected it would be.

[Chocaholic]

I can't help but good luck with whatever decision you make! I'm sure it will be the best one for you.

[~Raven~]

I found it a lot easier than I expected too I had a 21 month age gap.

[MantaRay]

Fiona, personally I found it harder, but don't let that put you off. In our case DS1 was a very, very easy pg and baby. Then with DS2 I was sick throughout the pg (not sure if pg related or not), and then he was born early and was a very colicy baby. After DS1, anything would have been harder. Given that you didn't have it so easy first time, it is likely that you will find the second time easier. And FWIW, I wouldn't change a thing, I don't regret having no 2 so soon at all.

I wish you luck with your decision. It's not an easy one to make. Every situation is different, so you can't really base it on anyone else.

[Phteven]

My boys are 16 months apart and I found it harder overall but that said I was caught by surprise by a few things.
Yasin adjustsed to being a big brother much better than I expected and although he was angry with me for a while he was never angry with his brother. They are both so close now that all the hard times were/are worth it. It's so sweet when they hug each other after a couple of hours apart and if either one falls and hurts themselves their brother is always the first to offer comfort. They really are best freinds and I'm so glad I gave Yasin the gift of a sibling.
DH really stepped up after Imran arrived. He was a great nurse and took amazing care of both the boys and me.