is there something wrong with me? i don't want another child. my DD is absolutely beautiful, just gorgeous and i love her soooooo much, every day is so special with her. i am a SAHM and DP is home alot as he works shift work. he is so helpful, i couldn't ask for more support! everyone talks of more babies and all my friends ask "so when are you going again?"
sleep has been a big issue for us as a family, she's never been a good sleeper but recently has gone into a toddler bed and sleeping much better (never went in a cot, co-slept until a few weeks ago).
am i selfish? or is there other people out there that actually feel the same way as me? when i hear about others having heaps of kids, i wonder if something is wrong with me!
Nothing at all B. You are making a mature responsible decision, why have another baby when you dont want one just because people might think its odd not to want more?
You may change your mind down the track but even if you dont, who cares? Its no ones business but your own.
Anna, hmmm....I worry about Madeleine not having a brother or sister at times if we decide this is it. However, for us, that wouldn't be the only reason for having another one. I'm sure others would disagree but it's not a reason to have another for us.
By the way, you are a supermum, I've always thought that!
Not at all! I actually never wanted any (hides) but then had one and was happy with one until I wanted 2! DP really only ever wanted one. I am an only child and there are lots of benefits to being an only child.
I know lots of people who only want the one and I don't think there is a problem with that at all - although you will get lots of people asking annoying and personal questions about your decision
Nai, yes my brothers and sister are all so much older than me and were moved out when I was very little. I grew up ok and my DP's niece had been an only child (up until 4 years ago) but she is now 18 and she is a wonderful girl, sensible, schooled well, going to university next year etc. I look at her sometimes and think, "well Madeleine could grow up like that!!"
I am just shocked at the number of people who think I'm silly for not wanting another one that's all. And sometimes I question myself even though I'm a good Mumma.
I think it just comes down to your family dynamics - if you guys are happy with just the three of you (and no way in the world shouldn't you be!) then who else's opinion really matters??
We have friends that only have one child - and he's nearly 5 now - and they swear black and blue they are not having anymore. While we don't understand their decision as we want 3 kids - and we feel sorry for their DS because he is alone for a lot of the time, with just adults - we certainly respect it.
Not everyone has to have the standard 3 kids - if everyone had more than 1 child - where would they get the average of 2.3 kids from in their statistics?
Don't worry - you might change your mind later down the track - and if you don't - then thats OK too.
It is totally OK. you know what is best for your family.
I am an only child and I never 'suffered' for it - I know my parents had lots of ppl asking q's all the time but they did what was right for our family.
I grew up v close with lots of family friends and my cousins so i was never 'lonely'.
you do what is best for you honey.
We are the same. I dont want another child for many reasons but one is just that we are so happy as we are. We never wanted more than one.
I think that when people say it is selfish to only have one child they are making a big assumption that children with siblings are better off than only children. I don't agree with that assumption and I think it has to be a case by case situation. All children need to get one on one time with their parents, all children need to be given a wide range of experiences, and all children need to have lots of time to socialise with other children of all ages (not just siblings). I think you can provide well for one or more children with commitment to their needs.
M is only 10mths you have plenty of time to make a decision! As for being an only child, I always wanted two but added in was my fear of an only being left on his/her own should anything happen to both Dh and I. Mainly because neither family is close and my siblings are so much younger/SIL doesnt want any kids at all. So no cousins close in age. But I know your family is close so M would be just fine should (god forbid) anything happen to you and G.
I dunno about me being a supermum, superinsane is more like it lol
I am totally the same! I don't think it's weird either. I guess for me, I totally wasn't ready for my dd. I fell pregnant on the pill and didn't find out until I was 10 weeks pregnant. I guess some people know they want lots and some people know they want one or even none. The thought of me not being able to spend the MAXIMUM amount of time with my dd, without being interupted by having another baby makes my heart hurt. But that is just how I feel. My dp jokes about having more, he desperately wants a boy, and everyone says to have them close together, but until dd is like maybe 5 or 6 I won't even let the thought cross my mind at all.
only want one...is there something wrong with me?
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