Maybe try put the cot mattress on the floor next to your bed. That's what we do. E sleeps down there most of the night. She will not have a bar of the cot.
Once she is in a deep sleep I just slide her over to the cot mattress. (though we are also sleeping on the floor at the moment but you could do it with a single bed? making the bed bigger and room for everyone?)
We're thinking of getting a toddler bed too or putting her into sleep with DD1 because she loves to cuddle up too.
She slept two nights on her own in her own room on mattress on the floor then the stupid molars started coming through so we are back to co sleeping and one grumpy mumma from lack of sleep.
We used a double mattress but thats because thats what we had spare, a single would work too.
It eliminates the side rail problem, which we had. We really sucked at putting her in her cot, she'd end up wide awake because I'm too short to put her in, I'd practically have to drop her in, and she is really tall so she could never coordinate herself (don't ask me why, she just couldn't LOL).
We just fed her to sleep on the mattress and then once she was asleep we got back up. We ended up putting her in her own room at that stage, but if you have room in your room I think it'd work too. And when she wakes just snuggle into her bed, feed her back to sleep, and go back to bed.
I worried about her crawling around, or playing, but its funny, she actually started sleeping BETTER, and we didn't have to get up so early as she was content playing with some toys in her room for a little while until she needed us.
Laa actually fell asleep BY HERSELF on the bed for her nap today. Please tell me this sounds like a natural step in the right direction?!
She really does hate the cot so I think we will have to ditch it. I am loving hte idea of a floor mattress (I think we still have the slats from DD1's old bed that we could raise it on). Otherwise I think Ikea have a similar sort of thing?
After asking around we did the mattress on the floor thing, but he just wasn't into it. He's gone straight into his bed (a regular single) with a rail because he's so little. I sold the cot before he was one as it was an abismal failure.
Now we've gone and moved on him so we're back to square one but I will get there....
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Please tell me this sounds like a natural step in the right direction?! 
Thats all we did. 
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