I have the opposite sensory issues. Some days I can be touched, other days I am in pain if someone moves within about 2' of me. So it doesn't have to be always to be an issue.

But my DS did enjoy rough and tumble at that age. If you think it is because your DD is attacking him that is a very different issue and regardless of it that is causing his play issues or not, it needs to be stopped. Beating someone up is not a game. She needs anger management help, which is hard to do when you've not actively needed it yourself. Can you talk to someone about it?