If you're confused, I would recommend going to a proper baby shop rather than Kmart or the like, as the staff there should know what the regulations are and be able to help you choose the correct car seat. They also normally have someone that is trained to fit the car seat correctly. DD is 3.4 years old, and is quite tall for her age, and she is in a Safe n Sound Maxi rider AHR - the head rest is adjustable, and it apparently should last until she is 7 years old.
I think you need to consider how heavy she is as well. The laws are very confusing cause it isn't just height and age that they consider but weight as well. The in-built harness aren't marketing hype and are about helping to keep our LO secure in thier seats as Hot1 said. The problem we had is that all the in-built harness we could find had a weight rating of 18 kgs and DS is heavier then that. I also recommend calling the police station as they are the ones who interpret the law.
My DD went into a MaxiRider at 2 due to her being taller than a convertible car seat. They have an inbuilt harness, as to quite a few of the brands of booster seat on the market these days.
They changed the rules recently to go on age or height only as opposed to the old weight rules. They used to have to be in a 5 point harness until 18-20kgs. From the viewpoint of someone who has seen many many accidents involving car seats I will continue to have my children in a 5point harness until that weight.
3 is far too little for a regular seatbelt. Go to a fitting station or baby store and investigate a harness. I'm sure they'll also recommend a tethered car seat (one that is anchored) as opposed to one that just sits on the seat and secured by the belt the child is wearing.
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