Pleassse tell me there is an easy solution to this *sigh*

[Arcadia]

Its a full moon tonight. I try and keep track because my family always went a bit bonkers at full moon.

HTH

[Rouge]

Try and remember as hard as it is its hard for them as hard as it is for us. I always try and think of it like this, we have had 20 something years experience in understanding emotion, working our resolution etc We are completely in control of our lives, we go to the toilet when we need to and we don't need help to wipe our butts. We can speak clearly and understand perfectly. If we want to do something we do it. If we don't want to do it we don't. They have to conform to rules they don't properly understand and often don't see alternatives to. They are trying to understand their own emotions and work out ways to control them, but its still hard. They've only been on this earth for a little while yet we expect them to understand, obey and be perfect. It just ain't gonna happen! Sorry! They need to tantrum to explore their emotions and so they can figure out within themselves what their alternatives are.

And really when we are feeling like crap about something what do we do? Go grab some chocky or a wine and have a good wine to our friends or loved ones... they can't even do this. So next time they are having a tantrum if you can't help them to stop, change your perspective because then at least one of you won't be having a melt down

And I'm not saying to abandon boundaries, but a little understanding and empathy never hurt anyone yeah?

[fionas]

I have a child who understands the word "no" but largely ignores it. At 10 months old, I found her on top of the dining table. Underneath that is a concrete floor. Not a good combo.

She is now almost two and I can count on one hand the number of times, she has listened to "no" and I honestly don't have the energy to say no all day and to implement consequences. I just don't. I don't think it would be good for her to listen to no all day and it would make for a very frustrating day for me.

So the way I deal with it is to pick my battles. I only dole out consequences if she's doing something really dangerous. I figure that until she understands the "why" about why she can't do something, it's actually pointless (with her because she's very, very headstrong).

In the last couple of weeks though, I've happily noticed a change and she is much, much better at doing what I ask her to do. I just think she's getting better at understanding my explanations as her cognition has improved.