Preparing a toddler for the arrival of a sibling

Melinda · June 23rd, 2006, 01:46 PM

Just wondering if anyone could give me some useful tips on how to prepare Jacob for the arrival of his little sister.

We are trying not to overload him with too much information as we know that for him, the time between now and when she actually arrives is a pretty long time to wait IYKWIM!

We talk about how he is going to have a sister and how he can have lots of cuddles and kisses with her (we try to emphasis that it is HIS baby as well as ours, by saying "your baby sister" etc) and how being a big brother is really special and important. If you ask him where his sister is, he will point to my tummy (very cute!)

I'm just wondering what other things we can do to prepare him (but not upset him) for her arrival. We already plan on buying him a special present from her, to give to him when she arrives and were even thinking of perhaps encouraging him to buy her something special that he's picked out himself (or made for her himself).

Jacob will still be in his cot when she arrives and whilst she will be in the bassinette for a while, we have bought a separate cot for her, so that Jacob can follow his own path to progressing to a big boys bed, rather than feeling as though he has to give up 'his space' for her. So we're hoping that will help also?

He has a little baby doll that he loves and cuddles and kisses too (and sometimes likes to change the nappy and feed her a bottle etc!)

Any other pointers and/or suggestions?

TIA

**wardygirl** · June 23rd, 2006, 01:59 PM

I think you've made a great start Mel, to make the transition to being only child to big brother much easier for Jacob. You're doing all the right things.

Perhaps you could also go to the local library and suss out some books about not just what's happening to Mummy's body at the moment, but also see if there's anything that addresses bringing baby home.

xx

ETA: it was a bit different for us as Vivienne was 8yo when Blake was born however we still had to talk about how important she was and that our family wont run out of love because there's another child in the house, Mummys and Daddys automatically have enough love for all their children, no mater how many there are. We made sure she bought Blake a present to give him from her when he was born, and Blake had a present for Blake too. The present she gave him was a beanie kid bear, which is the toy that Blake has with him in his cot. It's extra special that it's from his big sister - kinda like a guardian angel. (Am I getting off track here?)

Anyway, HTH.

**Tobily** · June 23rd, 2006, 02:09 PM

I think you've made a great start too

We're basically doing everything you are...the only difference being we've just moved her out of her cot on the weekend - we wanted to do it well in advance so there is no connection between that and the arrival of the baby. So far it's going really well.

At their age I guess it's going to be one helluva rude shock when the baby gets here no matter what we do...I really feel although Emily knows what I'm talking about when I talk to her about the baby, she obviously doesn't have any concept of what this will mean for her when it actually happens.

We're just going by feel and hoping for the best really! I'd be interested to see other suggestions as well.

**Lucy** · June 23rd, 2006, 02:18 PM

Mel.......not anything you can do right now, but when you are in the hospital after your little girl is born, and Jacob comes to see you.....try and make sure that she is in the bassinet rather than in your arms? (I can't remember who told me this, but it makes sense!). That way he sees her as a gift to the whole family, rather than a little person who will take up Mummies arms/attention...........

Plus it'll give him a chance to have a good peer at her, or have an immediate cuddle with you, depending on his mood!

(We did this with Olivia and Charlie.....Andrew rang me on my mobile as he arrived with Olivia, so I could meet them at the lift, and Charlie was all fed and wrapped in his bassinet.....)

Kell · June 23rd, 2006, 04:36 PM

Melinda - we did all the same things. After the birth we made sure that we involved Molly in Will's care as much as possible. she would 'help' me change his nappy and i would give her 'special' jobs while i was feeding, because i noticed that she would play up particularly when my attention was focused on the baby. so i would ask her to sweep the floor (she loves that!) or do the ironing (on her play ironing board) she loved having 'grown' up jobs to do. Also we bought one of those dolls with all the baby accessories, bottle, nappy dummy etc so she could play mummies... HTH