REALLY NEED ADVICE - sorry a bit long

[~Kim~]

Yes Jordi, they can.

THe first 7 months of Darcy's life were really quite horrendous for me (please don't be horrified). I had sever PND and a baby that never ever slept - well not like I thought she should sleep. Somewhere in the middle of that 7th month I had an epiphany.
So what if she didn't sleep like other babies? So what if she had no set routine? She was happy doing her own thing (for a mum with OCD that's VERY hard to deal with). I stopped monitoring her sleeps for time. I put her down when she was tired. If she woke and still appeared tired I helped her back to sleep. I fed when she wanted to. I listened to her and I.
Once I realised that if I was happy and comfortable with how things were going, then she would be too. All of a sudden that weight of mother guilt and competition (not really the right word but can't think of one better) was gone. It got easy and bright.

Now she will be 2 in May every day she has her own routine which she has gotten into. Every day she wants food and plays and wants to go to sleep around the same time. She knows what's next. She's happy and I'm happier.

HTH.

It is hard and you are doing all the right things.

[megsgr]

I am having sleep issues too. I have just started reading a really good book it is called Sleeping Like a Baby by Pinky Mckay. It has some really great advice. I really feel at peace with what I am doing from reading it. It is very child orientated. I really recommend it for you as it will show that you are doing the best for what works for your child and not to worry about what works for other babies as every baby is different. Good luck.

[Spring Angel]

Shocking night here last night JordieC. Basically DS was unsettled from 3.30am and only had naps until 7.00am ARGH. I think ~Kim~ has some really good advice about just following bubs lead.

Mesgr: Where did you get the book from? Can I ask how much it cost because I have heard good things about it and what to get it also.

ETA: Nevermind, I just found it for sale in the online store. Thanks anyway.

Spring

[JordieC]

Grrrr terrible night again!! She was sooo good yesterday - having 3 sleeps and going down without a problem. The night was crap - She woke at 10.30, 12, 3, 4.45 and 6 - each time really upset and feed the only way to comfort her. DH got up at 6.30 and took her for walk - thank god!!!!! I know there are lots of books out there so I will try but... I don't know - it's hard when they aren't seeing your child. See how things go I guess

[Kitt3n]

jordie, have you considered going to your local Karitane - like support network?

They really helped my aunt, who had similar probs with her son - it depends which state you are in as to who you can contact.

[megsgr]

Spring I just borrowed that book from the local library.

[Campari]

Hi JordieC,
I have a 6 month old too, and have struggled with the routine question as well. We have little mini-routines here which I know DD loves - like we always bath her, dry and dress her in the loungeroom, have cuddles, have a feed, and then bed at 7pm on the dot.

I have tried to do feed/play/feed sleep, and I've tried a couple of strict routines set out in books (not control crying though - would never do that just to form a routine!) I've just found that its not possible, because, like you said, babies don't always sleep for the same amount of time! Some days Milla wakes after 25 minutes, some times she will sleep for over 2 hours!

What I have done is try to stick to a 7am out-of-bed-routine... this is working well and our mornings are pretty reliable, I know she is going to be ready for a nap at 9am, and give or take 10 minutes, she will give me the tired signs and I put her straight to bed. This has meant though that I have had to wake her at 7am some mornings (rare... usually she wakes at 6:30 or so) which is a killer on weekends when all I want to do is sleep in! If Milla wakes up at 6:30, she comes in to our bed for cuddles, and I try to keep her calm til 7am, and I give her her first feed then.

So, our mornings are sort of in a routine, but after that, my afternoons are usually all over the place. Im happy enough with that, and she's happy most of the time.

Try reading Pinky McKay, and also the No-Cry Sleep Solution. I've also read Tizzie Hall and Gina Ford, but not found they fit well with us...

Don't stress though, you sound like you're doing just fine, and your DD is happy, and that's what matters.