The Right Age Gap??

[ezymay]

I know this is really up to DH and I but I would love to hear experiences regarding age gaps between your kids. We are trying to figure out a good time to start trying for a second. I am very clucky but my head keeps saying wait. DD is 14 months old, do we go now or wait till she is older??? Its so hard!!!

[Oorki Galoorki]

we have 22 months between DS and DD.. it has been hard for us...
DD is 2.5 and unles something happens soon i doubt the next one will be until 2012...

[mrsmac]

I think you will get someone telling you good things about every size age gap there is because we all adjust to whatever gap we have.
Some people (like me!) would be horrified at 2 children under 2 but others would love that and hate the age gaps my kids have so its really each to his own.

[Olive]

DD was 19 months when we conceived, 2yrs 3 months when DD2 was born and i love the gap! DD1 TT a few months later, shes mature, loves to help, i dont have two babies, i have 1 baby and i little girl!

[beckoes]

im wondering the same thing atm. DD is 15 months, but i think we will wait a few more months till TTC.
My reason is that i want to enjoy DD on her own for a while longer and then be able to enjoy #2 when 'it' comes, and i feel that if i had them too close together i wouldnt be able to do this.
Also i think it depends on the way you parent to a degree, i feed DD to sleep, couldnt imagine having two that needed to be fed to sleep!! how would that work??
I think you adapt to what ever happens though, im sure if i got pregnant now it would be just fine!!
Its hard to ignore that little voice in your head that wispers 'go on....try now!" lol

its interesting reading everyones comments re: having them closer! making me think twice lol....dont tell DH

[MantaRay]

I have 19 months between the boys and it definitely has good and bad points. On the good side, DS1 was never jealous, the boys mostly are happy to play with/watch/read the same things as they are similar in age, they play together nearly all the time which makes life easier, and DS2 has learnt things early and easily as he wants to be just like his brother (he even TTd himself!). On the downside, 2 under 2 was very tough, and they have started to fight over things now (although this well might have happened whatever the age gap ). If I knew then what I know now, I'd probably still have them close in age, but I'd have organised some extra support for the first year!!

[Beautitude]

Its such a difficult decision to make i think. We always said we would try for a second when ds was 1 but now that the occasion is upon us (less than a month eek) I am not ready at all for another. I really want to be settled in a bigger house and i just want to enjoy ds and being able to give him all my attention. We have also had a few issues with ds in the last couple months which has made having another a very unattractive idea. Plus im enjoying new parts of my life such as exercise that i would need to give up if i got pregnant again. As a result we are going to wait till he is 18 months now and think about it then. I worry though that we will take a long time to conceive and then there will be a big age gap and then some days i think why not just put caution to the wind and let fate decide when bub #2 comes along. For now i am pretty happy to wait for another 6 months and reassess but in the mean time every time i see a newborn baby my ovaries hurt lol. Hope the decision is easier for you that it has been for us!

[SweetPea]

My boys are 17 months apart and I have loved the age gap. There were no jealousy issues and they play together well now that ds2 is 13months old. I actually found that it was harder being pregnant and looking after a little one than actually having 2.

[Queen]

I honestly think there is no 'perfect' age gap, as whatever gap you choose, you will make work.
I have friends with age gaps ranging from 8 months - 16 years and they all work...

Good luck

[mzcatieboo]

DS was 2 years 7 months when i fell pregnant and i had been trying since he was 16months old. he will be 3 years 3 months when this baby is born, so im hoping its a good age gap

[ezymay]

Wow thank you everyone so much for your replies!!! Its really hard!! We have a lot to talk and think about. DH is in the Army so ideally I would like him to be home for a decent stretch of time and in his current job that's possible so now would be a good time to try for no 2....but he's not sure he wants to stay in his current job! I'm worried then we'll have another baby and have have to pack up and move somewhere and I'll be alone.
I really don't know right now except I don't want it to be longer than 3 years (if we can help it of course) Whatever will be will be right

[Nai]

We have 3 years and 8 days difference

It is a good gap for us. I have my big girl and my baby. DD1 is very independant and loves helping out with DD2. She looks after her, plays with her and really adores her. However she is old enough to do things for herself and can understand why she needs to be quiet when DD2 is going to sleep etc. They are sharing a room now and they are very cute together - DD1 makes DD2 laugh all the time.

[indie24]

We have the same discussions about when we should try for numberr 2 as well. We couldn't decide so we are OTL... not trying but not preventing.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

I am PG with #2 and DD will be 15mths when she is born. ARGH!

I think everyone is right, you will get some that love having them very close and others that prefer a bigger age gap, depends on you guys in the long run!

#2 wasn't planned so not much choice but i think it will work out nicely... DD might get a little jealous at the start but then she wont know any different after that!

[mbear]

can understand why she needs to be quiet when DD2 is going to sleep etc

...may sound silly, but i reckon this is a great reason to have them later....my biggest gap is 29 mths. Found that much easier than 19 mth gap i have b/w #2 and #3 and #3 and #4. I feel like i am forever, and ever, and ever telling my 26mth old to be quiet whilst H sleeps.....she doesnt understand, why should she.....but yeah, i feel i get really frustrated and angry when she squeals at the top of her voice just coz she likes the sound of it....meanwhile H wakes up after only 30 mins sleeping. That, for me, has been the hardest...and prob the reason why im all for the 2.5 yr age gap.....