It's one of those debates that you hear about sometimes but not as m,uch as others .ie breast or bottle, dummy or no dummy!! I don't want to create tension but would love to hear what others think.
Today I was chatting to a mum at Gymbaroo and I mentioned that it was difficult for me to put Mackenzie into swimming lessons because she still sleeps 3 times a day and I didn't want to have to wake her (or keep her up ) for swimming lessons ( bit easier to do that for gymbaroo). Anyway the mum was quite shocked we had no routine and we couldn't work around her sleep times for lessons!
I cruise along for awhile thinking what we are doing is okay (which I know it is) but then when I speak to someone like that I start to think "oh no - maybe by this age she should have one?" I have always followed her signs and put her to sleep when she shows signs which differs everyday. I pretty much still demand feed and because she won't eat solids we try those at random times throughout the day rather than at a set time. So is this bad?? How do you put a baby in a routine when they aren't like that? I guess we could be more strict .ie not going out when we feel like but... that's no fun!! She does have a general pattern I guess:
Wake up - anywhere between 6 - 8 depending on how night went
Morning sleep - approx 1 - 1 1/2 hours
Midday sleep - 1 hr
Late arvo sleep - 45 mins
Bedtime -anwyhere between 6.30 - 8pm
The days differ depending on where we are going and how good the night before was. Anyway after all that rambling what are your opinions on routines? I personally in a perfect world would actually like more structure (a little more) but have realised this isn't always possible. Or do you think I should be stricter?
I had a routine with DD1 as she needed to feed every 3hrs while I was bf'ing her but when I put her on a bottle at 5 months I just used the same sort of routine, it worked for her.
With DD2 I had NO routine whatsoever till pretty much now, even then her sleep time changes or dissapears depending on what we do. She's 18 months now and both girls have the same routine, but they eat the same food now.
If what you are doing works then why change?
One thing tho, dont stop doing something that might be important just coz she needs a sleep, she will get over it.
in all honesty it sounds as though your girl has her own routine and that's pretty awesome! and if it's working for you both then go with it! man i wish i could get some decent midday naps...ho hum...maybe your girl could chat with my girl...LOL!
In our case we went with a loose routine in the early days (more for me than bub as i needed to feel as though the days had some structure) but this only went so far as to follow tired signs etc etc. i used to take leila out with me during the day as i knew that she would be able to sleep in her pram fairly well. she still does this, but her sleeps are not so long or deep when we are out...too curious!
i think that by the sounds of it things are working really nicely for you. and a baby doesnt really need a routine per say. cliche i know, but some do and some dont. for example, L has her own bed time routine: massage, dim lights and a feed. but during the day she is off to sleep on her own.
we are pretty firm on bed-time (6.30) but this is only because L is a grumpy bum from 5.30 onwards...
what is M like when she misses the midday nap? maybe give a lesson or two a go (if you really want to go swimming...it is FUN!) and see how she goes. In our case by the time L is put in her pram for the walk home she is out like a light for 3+ hours! when we go swimming we miss the mid morning nap, and she copes ok, as swimming is her fav activity...
I agree, I think she does have a 'routine' of her own.
I also think that at her age she'd cope just fine without that midday nap if you wanted to take her swimming. Like the other ladies have said, on those days you'll probably find she sleeps longer in the afternoon.
Um, you sound like there's a beautiful routine happening!
We did routine from the beginning but were more tight with it to begin with until we formed a gorgeous rhythm with bubby. Now that she is older, we are more flex with it so I don't mind her missing a nap here and there. She still naps twice a day for approx 1&1/2 hours so I'll either miss the morning or the afternoon, never both......gawd! She'd be so feral!
I did miss things in the beginning coz for us, the whole establishing routine was kinda higher on the priorities then the outing/event etc but it was only for a season and like I said, now we do so much...........must admit too that flexibility came easier and faster with DD#2 as the world couldn't stop seeing as I also had a 3 year old! Lol!
What you have going sounds so great......don't change anything if its working, that'd be more stressful and annoying imo than anything
I definately think what you are doing is fine and is a routine! I don't agree with "wake baby at 7am on the dot, nap at 930 on the dot, feed from one breast for 20 mins blah blah" but that's just me! I think you need to take your cue from bub and do what works for both of you.
As far as fitting in lessons etc... when she goes to 2 sleeps you will probably find that easier. Isabelle is 15mths old and still has 2 day naps and lots of people at my mothers groups are saying "oh they should only be having one now" WHO says??? My girl still needs a 40min -1 hr nap in the arvo - yep some days its a PITA other days I take her out to do stuff and if she needs to nap she is more than happy to do it in the car, and that's fine too.
We have had a bedtime of 7 every night regardless of what goes on in the day, sometimes up to 730 but very rarely and this hasn't changed at all since she was little. The way I put her down for her naps during the day is the same too - soft songs, stories etc, at night it's bath, quiet time, bottle and bed. That is her routine and works for us. I just said to DH the other night - well it's going to be hard getting rid of the night bottle and he looked at me and said, well, she likes it, its milk, what is the big deal, we will get rid of it when she is ready. Sensible advice! Keep up the great work!
Routine or go with the flow???
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