self inflicted vomiting?????

[pansy]

I know this may sound a little weird but my 12 month DD's stick their fingers down their mouths and gag until eventually they vomit.

They usually do it in their cot either before they go down for a sleep or when they wake up.

The CHN said it may be an attention thing.They don't do it every sleep but one of them may do it once in a day.

I feel awful that they do this.Has anyone else had their bubs do it?

[pansy]

Thanks Nessa,

I was told to ignore it it's so hard to though cause it sounds like they're choking.Oh well I guess they will eventually get bored of it now I am ignoring it.

[Roryrory]

Pansy I used to do this as a kid, but I would cough and cough till I threw up. I think it started in earnest when I was about 2 and didn't stop till I was 4 maybe 5. I did it to get my own way and boy did it work. My mum now says (with 20-20 hindsight) that she would have ignored me but at the time it really stressed her and dad out.

[BellyBelly]

Rather than ignore it, perhaps you could try and prevent the problem by seeing what's making them want that attention? I really love the book, The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland (which I haven't finished reading yet, but its bl00dy brilliant) and it addresses this sort of behaviour as well as many other things. It's changed the way I think about parenting now that I understand a bit more about why they do the things they do.

If I was to leave my child to walk around in it's own vomit, it makes me feel really sad to even think about it, but each to their own.

[Roryrory]

If I was to leave my child to walk around in it's own vomit, it makes me feel really sad to even think about it, but each to their own.

Sorry if that's the impression I left. My ma actually said she would have carried an ice cream container around for me to spew in and then wiped me up and ignored it.....

[pansy]

Will have a look into the book Kelly thanks.

They only seem to do it when they are in their cots.Before or after their sleep.Maybe they are trying to get the message to me that they don't want to be in there?????

[paradise lost]

Esme doesn't actually vomit but she does jam her fingers down there, started around 2 months ago. I'm not sure it IS an attention thing with her - she does it when she's alone or when she's in my arms or when she's having a storytime hug...? I get the impression she's just "discovered" her gag reflex. I guess if i freak out about it she might pick it up as an attention-getter, but ATM i ignore it while distracting her (so she's not actually sick) and that seems to work. Like if it's storytime i say "point to the doggie" so she has to use that hand to point. So is there an alternative thing you could offer when they start doing it, to keep little hands busy? At sleepytime Esme has a little lamb to hold (she's a thumbsucker though so doesn't do it right before sleep as her thumb's in there) which has become her (very handy, but only if you're happy to use them) comfort item.

Bec

[clare076]

My DD does it too, but I have never thought of it as attention seeking, she doesn't do it all the time, and I couldn't link it to any kind of behaviour. I just thought she does it because she may have a hair or something stuck in her throat.

[pansy]

they use to do it when feeding and I linked that to wanting to feel what was in their mouths.

I spoke to the CHN and she suggested it could be for attention which is really sad as I think I spend alot of time with them.

This evening they both did it while I was out.My husband had them both changed into different pjs.I wonder if it was because I ducked out.?

I don't know what to do as it is really upsetting me.

[paradise lost]

I spoke to the CHN and she suggested it could be for attention which is really sad as I think I spend alot of time with them.

Has the CHN actually seen you interacting with them? It seems unlikely if you feel you spend a lot of time with them that it's an attention thing. I mean, obviously some mums DO say they're spending a lot of time when they're not, but i reckon those mums KNOW it, kwim? It sounds to me like your mumma-instincts are saying it isn't that, and i'd listen to those instincts before i listen to the CHN. Also what does she mean when she says "attention thing"? DOes she mean she thinks they don't get enough attention, or that they're manipulating you? Some people say "attention seeking" when they mean "in need of attention" but not usually - maybe she was actually trying to put you more at ease about it..?

I don't know about the attention thing with my DD, as i say, she does it lots of different times, not only when i'm busy/away from her. She too started doing it while putting food in her mouth (and on her hands and on the table, floor, walls, in her hair, everywhere LOL) and i honestly think it's just a thing she's "discovered". If they do it in bed it's maybe when their mouths are dry (you don't make as much spit at night, otherwise we'd all drown in drool) or because they're teething (munching on fingers feels good but too far back in the mouth and opps, there;s the gag reflex!) ? DD has a sippy cup of plain water next to her cot at nights, the sort that doesn't easily leak

Is it possible to distract them when they begin to retch but before they vomit? A rustley/tactile toy or a story tape or something? I think like me DD has a weak gag reflex - in times when i've tried to make myelf sick (usually when i've been feeling sick for hours and want to just BE sick and feel better) it takes me 15-20 minutes continuous attempts to actually BE sick. It could be your DD's reflex is stronger in which case it wouldn't take much.

As to them both doing it - a few weeks ago i was in the supermarket and DD was in the trolley seat doing it - a passing kid, also in a trolley seat, a little younger than DD, saw her and began doing it too - it 's more likely to be that they're copying one another than both very distressed about something.

These things pass hun, don't beat yourself up about it - we asociate sick with illness and distress so it's upsetting to see them do this, but littlies don't have that association. It's like when you take the nappy off and they grab for the poopie - revolting to us, just interesting smelly squishy stuff to them. Just keep calm, offer distraction and try to pre-empt them so you stop them before they vomit and ride it out and most of all cut yourself some slack - you're a GOOD mother.

Bx

[Ambah]

Aidyn used to do this! I only just remembered... he never used to fully vomit, but he would sometimes bring a little bit of milk up... I think it may have started around 8 months of age?
I believe it was for attention, as he only did it when left alone in his room - but he was not distressed when doing it. We would always come to him anyway, and gently tell him not to do it, wipe his fingers clean, and offer him a distraction like a toy, or winding up his musical mobile... Sorry I wish I could remember what else we did...

Moving this thread to general baby & toddler discussion.

[BellyBelly]

*Nessa* - well what I was trying to say was, I wouldn't do it, as I believe in treating my children the way I would like to be treated. If I was distressed or needing attention but wasn't getting it and was then left to be with vomit on myself, I would feel even more rejected and frustrated. But like I said, each person needs to make their own decisions in parenting and I am not telling anyone to do anything a certain way. Check out the book, 'The Science of Parenting' by Margot Sunderland, understanding their little brains and knowing they don't even have the maturity to manipulate you really helps you understand whats going on and that there are other ways of doing things with certain behaviours, which are more productive and help babies develop strong emotional intelligence.

[Jac]

I used to work with a young chap (about 3 years old) who did this all day long at home - his mother would get quite upset by it. At school however, this behaviour was totally ignored and he only did it for 1-2 days then never again at school as he did not get the reaction he would get at home. It was certianly behavioural for this particular child (I wouldn't say attention seeking, but more to get his own way). Ignoring it and not making a big deal about it (minimal reaction) worked very well in this case but I agree that it would be worth looking at why it is occuring in the first place. I suspect there might be a sensory component to it given their age.

[pansy]

Thanks everyone for your replies will definately take tham on board..