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Thread: Separation Anxiety in 3 Month Old - Help!

  1. #1

    Default Separation Anxiety in 3 Month Old - Help!

    So, dear little Bonnie has decided that I'm the bestest person in the whole world! She screams when anyone else holds her, and has even started ignoring her dad. She just stares straight through him and starts looking around for me before screaming.

    My mum has babysat for me twice now, and both times Bonnie screamed the moment I left until I came home.

    My early childhood nurse told me that separation anxiety at this age was impossible since she has no concept of object permanence. Well, she may not have the concept of object permanence - but she sure as hell knows when I'm not around.

    For the most part I really don't mind because she's my best mate and I love spending time with her. But, I want the people close to me to have a great time with her too! And you know, occassionally I'd like to get out of the house without her.

    My mum has expressed concern that if I don't start "forcing" her to be with other people now, that she will always be this way. But I'm reluctant to traumatise Bonnie too much (not to mention any potential babysitters!) by not being around when its clear that she needs me.



    So - have you guys also had clingy babies at this age? Did the clingyness ebb and flow? Any hints about how I can get Bonnie to notice the other people in her life and be more comfortable with them?

  2. #2

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    I believe that babies can go through this at any age. Nina started to go through this at 5 months, but it didn't last long, only a couple of weeks.
    The only thing I can suggest is for you to have people around you and bub as often as possible, and have them playing with her, heaps. And slowly, you can decrease the amount of time you play with her while visitors are there. Maybe just keep doing this until she's happy to be in other people's company.
    I don't know, hopefully it'll work.
    Good luck

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Perth, WA
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    679

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    Yep, I believe it can happen at any age too. Sebastian knows when I'm not there. In fact, he will be screaming his head off while M has him for a while if I go out, and then he'll stop the minute he hears me come in the door. I'm trying to get M to spend more time with him while I'm in the house so that he gets more used to him too. I think Jodi's suggestion is a good one!

  4. #4

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    My nurse said DD had it too.... but it was only when we are at home and i leave the room. SHe goes to FDC now and is so happy to see mum leave., smiles and everything.

    But home is a different matter, so when i leave the room i tell her il be back in a minute and where im goin. or call out if im taking longer then i should be

  5. #5

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    Heh - I don't really mind too much. She is so extra cute at the moment, I love having her close to me as much as possible.

    I'd just like it if others (eg. my partner and my mum) could start to enjoy her as much as I do. My partner is at the stage now (finally) where he's ready to bond with Bonnie, but she isn't making it very easy on him.

    I've suggested to DH that he spends time in the mornings playing with her, since that is when she's at her most relaxed and playful. With my mum, she's also going to have to get into the habit of spending quality time earlier in the day - instead of the late afternoon.

  6. #6

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    OK, I'm going a little crazy here with Bonnie's clingyness, more in terms of my husband. She occassionally gives him a smile, but most of the time she ignores him or cries if he gives her attention, or if I'm not around she screams. Obviously, this hurts DH and it kind of perpetuates the situation in that he is reluctant to approach her in case she screams at him.

    I really want to be able to share the joy of having a baby with him, but it seems impossible at this stage. She's 4.5 months now. How old are most babies when they start to recognise their inner circle of people? Because maybe that will help matters.

    It just feels like this is going to go on forever and it's really frustrating for all involved.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Vic
    Posts
    4,340

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    My DD is quite clingy but she has warmed up to Df now. For awhile she wasn't happy with him but we just made sure he did things with her, such as he feeds her her dinner, he reads her her bedtime story and tucks her into bed.
    Maybe to begin with find something and start off with you and your hubby doing it with Bonnie then as time goes on slowly remove yourself so that it becomes something special your Dh can do with Bonnie.

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