I was thinking about this last night and also wanted to add that when bubbas are so young it can be a fraught time for those around you and bubs that are not the primary care-givers..they love this baby with so much of their hearts but the reality is that they are not the be all and end all for your baby ATM. they are more there to be there for you and bubs as a unit, a single force. their role is to support you as you raise a young baby. but TBH i think people (due to a loss of the village) dont really 'get' that anymore. we are not surrounded by a squidload of kids anymore so everyone is keen to jump right in ITMS.

I found that as my DD got older it got alot easier for the extended family to be involved. she was no longer dependent on my milk for her sole nutrition, she was sleeping less and more to a pattern and also, was able to recognise different people and love the fact that they were different and offered different kinds of fun to mum. even DH really found his feet after that first year and they now also have a vastly different relationship to the one i have and so and so on. and also, as they get older, comfort can come from different people, because the communication skills are there and, for example, DD can now tell grandma when something is not right and why...so despite the rocky start where mum was paranoid that they would not have a close relationship, they now have a fantastic relationship.

sorry probably a bit garbled, but just wanted to say that the baby stage is not forever and as DD grows she will reach out and find meaningful relationships with those in her larger family. it would be lovely if MIL could realise that and just relax and wait for her time to shine!!