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Thread: seperation anxiety -PLEASE HELP ME!

  1. #1

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    Unhappy seperation anxiety -PLEASE HELP ME!

    Hi all,

    Is anyone else going through the 8mth seperation anxiety situation. My 8 mth old will not go down like a good girl at night time now and it takes at least an hour to get her to bed she goes down between 7 and 8.30 now. She then will awake around 4am or earlier and sometimes more than once screaming in her cot and standing at the rail carring on like a pork chop until i get to her. I pick her up and she is out like a light again so i put her back in the cot leave the room and straight away she is up screaming again

    She will not settle with her daddy at all and is histerical with him she will only settle with me! She also can be really sooky and clingy during the day as well sometimes it is doing my head in!!!!!

    I have tried every single thing in the book and to no success at all. !!!!!!!

    Anyone have any ideas or tips to get this rectified as i do not want to co-sleep as she will expect it all the time then, we have done this only once as i needed sleep.

    Any advise would be great and if anyone else is going through the same stage or been through it how long does this go on for.......

    Jen


  2. #2

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    I found the best way to deal with sep anx. is nderstanding where they are coming from. It's a mental dev thing and they really are worred that you have disappeared and aren't coming back. During the day keep them with you all the time and build the trust. If you do leave the room tell them you're going and keep talking all the time so they can hear your voice. At night could you bring the cot closer to your room so you can talk to her during the night. We coslept and Ds didn't have any trouble with sleeping in his own bed but each person is different. Also they do go through a milestone thing around 8-9mths where they pull themselves up in the cot but don't know how to lay back down to sleep so it might help if you guide her with learning how to do that. Good luck

  3. #3

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    Yup! Went through it AGAIN last night. It can go for a couple of hours before he finally wears himself out and sleeps for a longer time. He slept with us last night, and slept quite well actually.

    We're happy to co-sleep when he's like this, I haven't had a problem putting him back in his cot when it's over. We had some really bad nights a couple of weeks ago, turns out he was cutting 5 teeth all at once.. but we only had problems at night.. not thru the day. The separation anxiety seemed to be at its worst with his teething, then he kinda got over it a bit.

    But yeah.. won't settle with daddy, and absolutely sobs after me like his heart is broken. But sheesh - i HAVE to go the loo at some stage! hehehe.

    I think it's totally normal for them to be like this, and not so sure it's 'fixable', it's a develepmental stage as they're more aware of things around them, and I think it's important just to go with the flow for a while and reassure them.

  4. #4

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    Hi there

    I think its just part of babies. My son is 10 months and he just wants me around all the time. If he is playing on the flood with his toys, I have to sit next to him. If I get up to go some where he starts screeming and crawling after me saying mama mama. If my DH is with him he is ok for a little while then the notices me gone and starts to cry. He is very shy now as well and climbs all over me. I think most babies do it. As for the sleeping, I cant help there as Callum goes down good and I have always put him down so he is use to it. He also goes down for DH if im out. Good luck:

  5. #5

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    Hi all,

    Thanks for the feedback i am glad it is normal and im not the only one ripping my hair out some nights!!!! Lol

    An update for you all, i called my sister in law as she has been through this stage three times and is able to put a stop to it within 3 nights to 3 weeks :eek: ... Anyway she told me to don't talk to her when she does it and no shhhh mummy here and trying to calm her. Go in and put her back down and comfort her until settled and then leave, if she does it again do it again and agian and again. Supernanny tips apparently etc!

    I did this to see if it worked. I gave her a bath at 7pm she had her book read to her and then a bottle. She went to sleep in my arms rocking her so i put her in her cot. Then she started screaming the house down i let her scream for 5 mins and sat at the door not looking at her or doing anything not even talking to her. I then settled her again and put her down again. The same thing happened and i just persisted and did not give in as i thought I AM BOSS HERE and she needs to no this know! at 8PM she fell asleep with me settling her and i stroked her head just for a little bit and she was fine. Then at 9.30pm she awoke i just went in settled her and stroke her forhead again and she went to sleep herself i could not believe it, i walked out of her rom and liked anything she would sleep all night. IT WORKED I CAN GLADLY SAY she slept all the way through last night till 6am this morning

    That as only last night though so i hope it works again tonight!!!!
    Anyway thanks to you all and Fletch will talk in Belly Buddies soon.

    jen

  6. #6

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    Im glad you got some sleep! I personally can't do that, watching him cry or not looking at him He only really does this when something is wrong (and I usually find out later if it's teeth or something) so I'm willing to keep comforting him, or let him sleep with us. Like I said, the co-sleeping hasn't been a problem/habitforming for us.

    All the best - hope you keep getting sleep!

  7. #7
    NewmumLou Guest

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    Yikes... Joshua is 5 months and i was just mentioning the other day that he is sleeping through and seems content...... i should enjoy it while it lasts......

  8. #8

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    Yes Lou - enjoy it while you can! LOL. Altho you might be a lucky one with a bub that sleeps through even through teething and things

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