Settling ideas

[nataliew]

Hi,
Was hoping to get some ideas on starting to teach my 5 week old to settle to sleep by himself.
Since he was born I have been feeding him to sleep. Night times are great. He falls asleep on the boob around 6pm then around 10pm, then around 2/3pm. So I knoe he can sleep well. Days are a bit of a mess! Very hit and miss.
I can get him to sleep in the sling (my only other option). He won't go to sleep in the pram, swing or hammock. I wrap him for every sleep.
I would really love for him to go into his cot sleepy and drift off by himself (he's in a snuggle bed in the cot). If I do this now he is screaming within 5 miuntes.
Do I keep picking him up and and calming him, then put him back down? I have started doing this and it just goes on till he's due for a feed again! Do I just keep at it and he will eventually get it or am I just stressing him out? (he gets really worked up).
All suggestions are appreciated!

[Snoopea]

I'd try to wrap him tightly and put him down, he may cry a bit at first but he'll get use to it.

Sounds like he loves the closeness of mum, try putting a clock under the mattress, to imitate your heart beat until he settles down. Also raising the mattress up might help!

It's not easy setting up a routine and it will be hit and miss till he get's into one, it's completely normal and I wouldn't be to worried about it. He may not settle into one until he's older.

[sazzafrazz]

Ah, those long hours are hard aren't they? You feel you spend longer settling than they do sleeping!
Are you letting him get overtired before putting him to bed? It is much easier to settle them if you catch them when they start to get tired. Look for the staring eyes, red, watery eyes, yawns, blank stares before he gets to the grizzly stage.

I find now that if my DD gets really overtired I have trouble getting her to settle. I wrap her and pat her bottom while either swaying or bouncing on my gym ball till she is calm again then I put her back into her bed.

Are you feeding him to sleep at night but not in the day? Maybe he thinks he needs to feed to sleep everytime. Could you feed him till he is content and "dopey" then put him to bed before he actually goes to sleep? That might help him as he will feel comfy but still awake and learn that going to bed is ok. If he needs to feel close to you, you could put a tshirt of yours down for him to lie on so he gets your scent.

That's all I can think of at present. My other thought was that he is having a 'wonder week' and he will settle better in a week or so. My DD did the same at 5weeks, needing a bit more attention and trouble to settle. He is probably noticing more around him now too so maybe getting overstimulated and tiring easier?

Good luck!

[sneakysparkle]

First up I will let you know that I'm all into "gentle" parenting techniques, so my opinions may differ to some
IMO 5 weeks old is still very young... they still very much need their mummy so I would say there is nothing wrong with cuddles to settle bub. I fed my DD to sleep until she was weaned at 14mths and have had no problems with getting her to sleep since - so don't worry if people tell you "you're making a rod for your own back" etc if you feed to sleep. It all depends on what you're comfortable with!
It is very important to watch for tired cues and put bub down before he gets overtired if you are wanting to put him down awake.
Maybe wait till he is a bit older to try a "routine" - I know my DD didn't sleep much at all during the day until she was about 3.5mths old (she was sleeping well at night though!) and after that putting a routine together was much easier.
HTH darl - and hang in there, and try to enjoy this time - they are little for such a short time!

[sushee]

This is just my advice natalie and you can take it or leave it:

I am not a big fan of putting them down and just letting them cry - it goes against my instincts. I breastfed to sleep day and night, and for me it was the fastest, easiest, no-cry solution to getting Charlie to bed. The less I stressed about him self-settling, the easier it was for both of us, and despite all the gloomy warnings from all and sundry that he would never learn to self-settle, he did learn all on his own. He now goes to bed after his bedtime routine of milk, bath, brushing of his teeth and kissing everyone goodnight, and I leave him in his room awake, and he will put himself to sleep.

5 weeks is really young to be trying to get them to self-settle. Like most things, kids usually learn those skills in their own time, and it may end up being more stressful for you and for your DS in the long by trying to 'train' him to do something he might not be ready to do yet. He probably sleeps well at night because going to sleep for him was a pleasant, easy experience, falling asleep on mummy's chest.

Keep in mind also that it's normal for little ones to not sleep more than 20 min blocks sometimes, so it might be easier to get him to sleep in a way that's convenient and pleasant for you both, so that you can get some rest before he wakes again .

[nataliew]

For those that feed to sleep, what do you do when bubs has finished feeding and is still wide awake?

[sushee]

If he's overtired, and it's obvious, I used to cuddle and rock him to sleep, sometimes over my shoulder, sometimes just in a sling so I could get on with things around the house. The motion was often enough to soothe him. If I was tired, I usually brought him to bed with me and we'd snuggle on the bed together, and many times he's nodded off with me. If he's just alert and not showing tired signs, then I assume he didn't really want to sleep to begin with.

[Snacks]

Hi Natalie, I'm with PP in thinking 5 weeks is probably a little young to self-settle (unless they've been doing it all along). During the day, my DD fed then was awake a little while, then went to sleep. I used to wrap her tightly and rock her in my arms and pat her until she drifted off, then I'd put her down. If she woke, we'd try again. She would often only sleep for 45 mins at a time, but sometimes it'd be a couple of hours. It was different every day.
When she got to about 12 weeks, she wouldn't settle quickly or easily in my arms, so we transitioned to settling in the cot. I would again wrap her tightly and pat her bottom until she fell asleep.
At night we fed to sleep. I made sure the room was dark and quiet, that she was wrapped first and that everything was ready to just 'plop' her in the cradle or the cot when she'd finished. (But she pretty much always fell asleep on the boob.)
Hope some of this is helpful - I know I haven't really answered your questions, but thought I'd offer a different way of doing things in case you're interested. All the best!