my memory (of having a nb) is being asked over and over "how long does she sleep at night?" - it felt such a competitive question at the time. Like, depending on the number i said, whether i'd passed a test or not.

my child slept for two hours at a time, so i always felt i failed this "test". but that's when she was hungry and needed changing. so if that's what she needed, that's what she needed.

I especially didn't like being told that if i put her on formula, that would be the magic bullet, she would sleep, i would sleep. Yeh, but she wouldn't be breastfed then. My choice was to breastfeed, i quickly found out, most people didn't approve of me breastfeeding - hang on, this is MY baby, i have made my own choice and am actually very happy with that, thank you very much.

i did feel an emotional distance from people who had bubs who slept all night, didn't feel they understood what i was going thru, why i didn't leave home to go to playgroups etc - cos i was too shattered to get to a 9am playgroup (plus i had post birth health complications from a c-section that went wrong).