A shocking day vent - needing some reassurance

[sneakysparkle]

oh hun I'm so sorry youre having such a hard time! But YOU ARE DOING A FABULOUS JOB!!! Hang in there.
With regard to TT - do whatever you feel you can manage, but I do think that if you can stick with it its worth it.
I hope they go to sleep for you soon hun xo

[Dragonbub]

Wow, what a handful! the fact that you can write a coherant sentence on BB is the mark of how well you are coping, even though you certainly don't think you are!

On a side, I work full time, about 50 hours a week including travel. I get home and roll my sleeves up and am straight into reading/cooking/cleaning/bathing/feeding/cuddling etc. Sometimes I do 2 or 3 at once, eg cuddling and cooking (not the safest way, but multitasking is a combat sport right?). Once DS is in bed by about 7.30 I help DH clean up (or clean up while he is watching the news). At around 9.30ish I head to bed, and DH wonders why I am "not in the mood".

Is it any wonder that women are stronger and better equipped with life than men? If your DH was a woman, he would cancel his cricket, or find some way of making a family event out of it where everyone has a good time whilst learning and growing developmentally. He would pack the picnic full of nutritious and yummy snacks, and would even remember the insect repellant.

At the end of the day you could put your feet up and he would lovingly massage them, whilst making you a cup of tea, and finishing off your uni assignment for you.

Unfortunatley we let them get away with so much, and our expectations are so little. I suffer this too, so am certainly not being judgemental.

So chin up babe, sounds like you have a classic case of Manhood on your hands. THere is no cure I am afraid, other than trying to alleviate some of the pressure through day care, hairdressers, family assistance, and if all else fails, I hear wine works a treat!

[skeetaboat]

Unfortunatley we let them get away with so much, and our expectations are so little. I suffer this too, so am certainly not being judgemental.

So chin up babe, sounds like you have a classic case of Manhood on your hands. THere is no cure I am afraid, other than trying to alleviate some of the pressure through day care, hairdressers, family assistance, and if all else fails, I hear wine works a treat!

I agree with you Dragonbub that many of us let them get away with too much and expect too little, but I disagree that there's no cure to the classic case of Manhood - I know some men will always be inconsiderate and selfish (as are some women), but I think most decent guys respond well to open and honest communication about the fact that the status quo is unbalanced and unfair and contributing to an unhealthy relationship. And I think when we stand up and ask for better in our own relationships, we are in a small way helping other mothers, because the more 'normal' it becomes for both parents to equally sacrifice their spare time, leisure activities, independence, freedom and social life in the early parenting years, the more other men will start taking a more active and less absent role in their own family.

[Liviam]

THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!

I have absolutely no idea where I would be without your unconditional support and advice. Last night was a crowded one in my bed with the three of us but hey so far we are all better off for it. Thank you for your advice too. I'm going to sit down with DH tonight and see if we can work something out that gives me a bit of help/time out so I can manage/survive. I just need to figure out a way to put it that he actually hears and understands what I'm saying.

Thanks ladies - you are all amazing women and mums!!

[Liviam]

double post

[Mother Goose]

I'm sorry hon, I don't really have much advice. But plenty of

The only real suggestion I have is perhaps to take a break from TT and come back to it when you're a bit less tired?

And I agree - try and get DH to give you some extra help (whether it be getting home on time, missing a few Sat's, or putting the little ones into care for a day a week to let you SLEEP!) or declare Sunday's your own!

Hang in there hon, you're doing GREAT!

MWAH

[onthefly]

Hope the chat with DH goes well. Definately ditch anything non-essential that's complicating things - hopefully your DH can let a few things go too so he can help out more.

[mbear]

Its tough isnt it.....i second about the TT......you know, my 3.5 yr old daughter was looking to be a PITA re: TT. I let it go, i was heavily pregnant with #4 and i just felt i had too much on. In the last week she's said to me 'mum, i dont wanna wear a nappy anymore. Day and night we've gone to knickers and not had one accident...... For me, the older the better. Dont put that uneccessary worry on your plate.

I agree with time out - im at home with 3, 3 and under, with #1 at school till 240pm. My DS only does 2 hour sleep stints at night. I had a meltdown around 2 weeks ago, bit like you, felt i couldnt do this mummy thing, feeling reeeeeeeeeeeeally run down. DH and i agreed i would get 1 hr to myself a week (wow....heaps eh .??? ). Thats all i can really do ATM with breastfeeding the monstor. I feel so energised and ready to be a mummy again after this 60mins of me time. I dont stay at home, i get outta the house. I went to a coffee shop on sunday, read the sun paper, then got my eyebrows done. It really did help...and i guarantee it will help you too....even a walk around the block every second day on your own.....

Hugs...its tough work eh ???