Should i be worried?

[TylersMummy]

Hi Skye DD is 4 months as of tomorrow and we had the same issue with the looking at the roof and everything else but me,does she also have her head to one side?
When I took her to the doctors last they checked her eyes but there was nothing wrong. If you are worried get her checked there is no harm.

[Santosha]

I agree that if you're worried, it's always worth getting professional feedback and reassurance.

But FWIW, my DD was exactly the same. I work with children with autism (one of the markers of which is lack of eye contact), and by 12 weeks I was beside myself, convinced that she had ASD and killing myself with worry. Bit by bit her eye contact got better, and the day she finally gave me a big, clear social smile... I was at the MCHN and had just told her of my concerns, and then DD just looked at me and BEAMED!!! Little ratbag!

Looking back, I put it down to temperament. She's very shy and self-conscious and still finds eye-contact very confronting. For ages she wouldn't dance or sing if you were looking and clammed up around anyone new. But in no way is she autistic. I think that for socially sensitive children, eye contact can be very intense and tiring. Just think about if you and I met and I stared you straight in the eye the whole time - it'd be really confronting!

I'd suggest doing things that draw attention to you, without too much emphasis on the eye contact. So, singing with hand actions or playing with interesting objects between her face and yours. I'd tend to avoid doing the big facial expressions or strong reactions to eye contact when she gives it, so that, if she is sensitive, she doesn't find it too overwhelming. Just give her a warm, reassuring smile and a 'hello' and let her look away when she needs to. Babies are pretty good at regulating themselves and how much social connection they can handle, as long as we read their cues.

ETA. Just realised that my suggestion contradicts Keta's. (sorry Hun, that was unintentional!). I think either can work, depending on the temperament of the child. I tend to err on the gentler side for really young children as I don't want to 'overstep' their boundaries and push too hard... but yes, some kids just do 'make you work for it' a bit more and respond well to big, bright reinforcement. I'd probably go there when she was a bit older if she wasn't coming to it on her own.

[skybie]

Santosha intersting you say that, i have noticed that when im looking at her she looks to the side/ top of my head but when i look away from hr and then look back again i catch her looking at me, as soon as she realises im looking at her she looks away again though.
Have her booked in for friday

[Trillian]

I think just having someone say to you it's perfectly normal for her to do that will be a huge reassurance There is a girl in DD2's class and she's never been the type of kid that will look you in the eye, she always looks past you if that makes sense. Nothing at all wrong with her, but she just wont make eye contact. Not even for a school photo.