Well I actually think the "easy baby" thing stems from how stressed or not the parents look. If people see you looking like you're calm and in control, and baby's needs are clearly being met by calm-and-in-control parent, they assume it's because of the "sort" of baby. If they popped in during arsenic hour on a bad day, they might form a completely different idea.

But here's the truth of it. An empty vessel makes the most noise. A lot of parents like to go on about what a terrible time they are having, like they can out-drama each other in terms of how badly their baby is sleeping or how little time they get to themselves. But when you're faced with real, deep difficulty, like the chronic pain of SPD and the relentless demands of caring for a reflux bub, you're less inclined to be out there whinging about it at the coffee morning (because you're getting on with the reality of the situation and you're all about coping). So I wouldn't be surprised if your friends just "don't get it". They probably have no idea of the level of pain you were living with, and even less idea of how that impacts on daily life.

So, if it were me, I'd be setting my friends straight - gently but honestly as you can. You could say something like "Yes she does seem calm and happy, doesn't she? But that doesn't mean it's been an easy road..." and you could then go on to tell them about how SPD and reflux impacted your life. Perhaps (if they are good friends) you could use this as an opportunity to open a conversation that you can resume later on about how they could support you next time around. Well before it actually happens. It's so much harder to talk about it when you're in the middle of it trying to cope. xxx