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Thread: slave driving toddler - headbanging tanties

  1. #1

    Default slave driving toddler - headbanging tanties

    Yasin is asleep at the moment and I couldn't be happier about it!!! My darling little monkey has gone totally feral in the last few days. I geuss that he might have figured that something is up - I'm 38 weeks pregant. Every time I try to take a minute for myself (ie a few minutes on the computer or a quick lounge or lie down) he loses the plot and starts screaming (with real tears) or banging his head on the floor :shock: . I have no idea why he gets so cross at me relaxing for a moment. If I'm doing the house work or playing with he's fine but the second I slack off the little slave driver goes psycho. I geuss you can imagine how hard I'm finding it to cope with because at the moment I need to put my feet up occasionally but I can't ever relax because of the tanties. DH says I should put him in childcare for a few hours but I think the timing's all wrong - if he'd been going for a while it would be ok but I think that introducing something like childcare when he's about to have such a big upheaval as a new sibling wouldn't be fair.
    I'm at my wits end - I don't think that I'm being a selfish parent in wanting to be able to just sit down and relax for a while and at the moment its totally impossible. I don't want to encourage the tanties but the headbanging (which is a new trick) totally freaks me out. Even if he starts out screaming at me sitting down he ends up crying because he hurt his head and I end up crying too because I can't stand to see him hurting himself and I have no idea how to cope.
    :fuming: the nieghbor just woke him up with his lawnmower.



    edit - I'm also really worried about whats going to happen when his sibling arrives and I need to sit down for feeds etc. The thought of trying to feed a newborn and cope with a tantie is really scaring me.

  2. #2

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    Dach, you poor thing! Kids can be pretty intuitive and i guess he knows something is about to happen, although he probably doen's understand what is going to happen.

    Maybe you could try getting a favourite book and reading it to him in a quiet spot, or on the lounge and when it is finished he may not be so upset at you resting. or you could sit on the lounge with him and let him feel your belly (but you probably do that anyway). If you could get him a peaceful state of mind before you rest, he may not be so 'aggro' about it.

    As for feeding the bubby and dealing with Yasin, I would set the kids up with some food or toys/books/pencils and paper etc to try to amuse them while i fed the baby. if he starts acting up, try to ignore him (unless he is doing something he really shouldn't be) or let him sit next to you and watch the baby feed. If you get up and run to him, you will interrupt the feed and have an upset baby as well.

    Give him some 'big brother' jobs to do (if he can) while you feed, like fetching a bib or nappy or something to make him feel important

    Don't worry too much about him being a bit 'put out' by the baby, because even the most well prepared toddler/child will feel a bit left out at times but they will soon adjust to the new sibling being around.

  3. #3
    sonsangel Guest

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    I have had the same problem which lastest for a few months. It needen't have lasted that long really. What made the tanties unbearable is the high pitch screech/squeal he puts in with the crying. I have had rude comments from people such as "Oh, take him outside and hose him down, and god that kid should be a girl not a boy" and well you can imagine my fury with those comments.

    To reduce them, granted we haven't completely stopped them, we have been extra careful with the bread he has the non preservative ones. Also as soon as the tantrum begins with out him able to show us what he wants and calming down straight to his bedroom. At the day care he goes to they have had to follow our lead and have a naughty chair which is called time out. He rarely gets put on this chair though.

    I know it's a very frustrating time and I am told it does get better. Let's hope it does. Sounds like it's the age more than change to me, it's usually after the change they begin to play up. I would begin to try books, take a present for Yasin to the hospital to give to him when baby arrives, etc. It's an unknown process for me and will be going through it in another 8 months or so. I will follow your progress for motherly advice in the near future

  4. #4
    Kell Guest

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    Hi
    Dachlostar - I have a 5 month old and a 3 yr old and although Molly (3) didnt have headbanging tanies she did get pretty demanding the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I think kids sense when change is coming. Maybe you could try keeping some of his toys seperate and bring them out when you need time out as 'special' toys. I agree that putting Yasin in childcare now might be bad timing, but do you have realtives close that could take him to the park for an hour, or frinds he could have a play date with? Also once the new bub comes along the 'big boy' jobs work wonders. I would get Molly to do things like fetch nappies, wipes etc or even sweep the floor for me ( i would give her the dustpan and brush and she would push the dust around more than pick it up but she had fun)while i fed the baby, and she loved having 'responsibilty' also it made feeding time much easier. Hope this helps...
    Kell

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