Our nearly 7 month old DD is not sleeping. It's getting to the point where Hubby and I are going to get very sick, and Hubby may get a re-occurance of the Glandular fever he had 12 months ago, or maybe worse.
DD was a GREAT baby. As a newborn, she'd wake 2-3 times a night in the first 2 weeks for a feed. From 2-4 weeks she'd wake once, and from 4 weeks onwards she was sleeping 10-12 hours overnight consistently. It was BLISS after having to deal with every 1-1.5 hours with DS until he was 10 months old. I thought we'd won the baby lottery!
Then, she hit 4 months and it was like a switch flicked off. She stopped sleeping well ( adn stopped being wrapped around the same time as she'd wriggle out within seconds of being wrapped). She went from her big long night sleeps, to waking every 2-3 hours, which really probably isn't too bad for a 4 month old, but was a big shock to our systems. Since then, we've just plodded along and tried to do what we can to encourage her to sleep. On the rare occasion, she'd sleep 6 hours straight and we'd get slightly excited. Then WHAM, it was back to the crud again.
She's just started crawling, so I figure that may have something to do with her sleep being more out of whack, but the past 2 nights, she's woken every 20-30 minutes. It's been HELL to say the least.
I'm OVER her being in our bed. I don't want her in there anymore. I can't stand it, but that's where she ends up from at least 4am onwards pretty much every night.
Last night, I refused. I tried to feed her a bottle, I tried food, I tried water, I tried singing, I tried her mobile, I tried more blankets, I tried less blankets, I tried patting her, I tried Hubby trying all of those things and NOTHING would work. Well, I lie. She'd self settle like normal, but within 20 minutes she was crying again.
it's a nightmare! I don't know what do to? She doesn't seem at all unwell, she didn't seem to have wind pains or anything ( tried burping her), She ended up having little bits of 4 bottles last night and she doesn't usually feed overnight at all. She didn't finish any of her bottles at all.
The lack of sleep is going through to her day sleeps now too, and she will not sleep for longer than an hour at a time. I was out at my strength training last night and Hubby could only get her to sleep for 20 minutes!!
I snapped last night. I was so distressed and overtired and just started yelling. I'm not proud of it. I felt unbelievably guilty afterwards.
I don't know what else to do. I'm not really one for controlled crying, but it's getting to the point where I don't care how she learns to sleep, just as long as she does!
DS was bad until 10-11 months, where he just suddenly figured sleep was good and has slept 12-14 hour nights ever since. I am hoping that DD is the same, but it's such a long way away, and I'm so worried about Hubby getting really sick.
If anyone has any ideas I could try, I'd really appreciate it.
I'm sure there are people worse off out there, so sorry for being so petty, this is just doing my head in.
i don't have a magical answer, i wish i did! But perhaps a few things to make you feel a bit better.
Around 5-8 months is a notoriously bad time for many babies sleep wise. We, at 8 months have just come out the other side of 3 months of terrible nights. My little girl was waking every 45min to 90mins all night. I was so tired.
Some things that helped us were to take her dummy away. Not sure if your little one has one, but ditching it was good for us. I found if i carried her in a sling and spent more time cuddling and holding her during the day she was happier to be on her own at night. I think the most common reason for the poor sleep is that the little babies are suddenly realising that mum is a separate entity and that she can leave, causing separation anxiety. Over time they become more confident and happy with being alone and as a result begin to sleep better again.
It can be such a trying time, but you will get get through it. I know how terrible it can be. I felt so desperate and tired only a few weeks ago and now my daughter is sleeping 10-12 hours a night without waking. So you never know, relief might not be too far away. Do you have any grandparents that might be able to offer some help? Jusr taking your son for a few hours or overnight will help.
I hope she starts sleeping a little better again soon.
Oh darl it sounds like you and DH are doing it incredibly hard at the moment so big hugs first and most importantly. I'm having the same battles with my little man at the moment so I'm not much help but can share what I'm trying. THrough the help from ladies on here I worked out that he was overtired and so each sleep was getting worse. My DS is 5 months old so a bit younger but he is only up for 1 to 1 1/2 hours max. He was screaming whenever he was in bed so I was having to hold him until he stopped screaming and settled down and went to sleep which was taking hours. Now that I've got him into more of a routine of feed/play for up to 1 1/2 hours depending on his tired signs he is settling much better and now that is flowing through all of his sleeps and he seems to be correcting them himself.
Can I ask how your day/routines are at the moment?
oh you poor chook, that just sucks. And I don't think you're being petty at all - it's not like you've had 1 or 2 bad nights, it's an ongoing challenge, which just wears you down, especially when you add the complication of your DH getting sick again - a bit of a spiral effect really.
I'm no expert (as you know), but, although it took over 2 years, I did finally make a call to get some external help for DS's ongoing sleeping issues. It's been a week, and whilst it's not fixed, just having an independent person come in & develop a plan for us to use has been helpful, and we are seeing definite improvements, which is lovely. Not yet sleeping through, but it's been much much easier. And we managed to find a "gentle" practitioner as well, so as well as helping DS get to sleep, it also hasn't been hard on my emotions. So...the point of that is - is it worthwhile maybe looking at a specialist sleep type scenario to help you through? Your GP might be a good place to start for references, or the MCHN if she's any good. I suspect that you're a bit of a hopeful person like me - as in "it will get better, it has to get better...", but this might be a case where being hopeful is just not quite enough, and getting some outside help is the way to go, cos it will relieve you of some of the pressure as well.
DS was bad to worse at first, then got better around 4 months. Then 5.5-7.5 months was HELL. For us it was separation anxiety and also he hated the cot. We finally moved him to a mattress on the floor and I slept with him to begin with, then it magically resolved (until he started teething!).
If it's SA, you need to think about meeting her need to have you close and to be constantly reassured that you're around for her. Spending more close time during the day might be one way of doing that. Setting up some sort of sleep arrangement with associations with you is another. In our case DS was happy to sleep alone on the mattress after a few nights sleeping with me, I think cause he associated it with mummy. A shirt that smells like you can work for some mums. Or maybe introduce a lovely for her to cuddle, if she doesn't have one already.
Can you get someone to help out during the day, so you can catch up on some rest as a stop gap?
My last suggestion (I think you won't like it...) - Give in to her and give her what she wants. Bring her to bed with you from the start of the night. You may be pleasantly surprised that, once reassured, she may start sleeping better. And once she's more settled and less anxious, you may well be able to get her sleeping on her own again (sounds counterinuitive, but can work this way).
it sounds tough. I have had my *moments* and yelled too. It sucks.
I am inclined to think she is sick or teething. Waking so soon after self settling sounds like a pain of some sort. Have you tried baby nurofen? (panadol did nothing for us)
Otherwise a trip to the GP may reassure you its not a UTI or ear ache.
I always find in crisis points like this to give into them until you can think of an alternative. So, I know it is hard, but put her in your bed, and maybe shift DH out for just a few nights, until you've all had some sleep and then think about it. Co-sleeping is not for everyone, but for a week its not going to set up bad habits, and might just give you all a break. Afterall, your relationship with DD sounds like its suffering, and you might both benefit from the extra cuddles (I speak from experience on that front).
Oh Nicky you poor thing! I don't know what advice to give I'm sorry, maybe you could have her checked over by a gp or mchn or baby chiro or whatever health professional you trust and see if there is anything then can find? When did she start solids? Is it around the same time? Maybe she has some form of allergy or intolerance that is making it hard for her to sleep?
We are starting to have issues wtih Bailey waking often, and I am thinking it is seperation anxiety, so I have no advice other then its ok to have a vent and yell - I have done it (not proud) but we all have our limits. We are currenlty co-sleeping ALOT, but I totally understand about wanting your own bed back
Hope Allira learns to stay asleep soon so you guys get some much needed sleep
If you are after some reading or books, then i can highly recommend a few off BB's recommended list.
'What every parent needs to know'
Any of Pinky's books, there is one on sleeping. Can't remember the title right now...
'No cry sleep solutions' helped me to feel confident in my approach to sleeping.
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Sleep issues - I don't know what to do anymore...
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