it sounds tough. I have had my *moments* and yelled too. It sucks.

I am inclined to think she is sick or teething. Waking so soon after self settling sounds like a pain of some sort. Have you tried baby nurofen? (panadol did nothing for us)

Otherwise a trip to the GP may reassure you its not a UTI or ear ache.

I always find in crisis points like this to give into them until you can think of an alternative. So, I know it is hard, but put her in your bed, and maybe shift DH out for just a few nights, until you've all had some sleep and then think about it. Co-sleeping is not for everyone, but for a week its not going to set up bad habits, and might just give you all a break. Afterall, your relationship with DD sounds like its suffering, and you might both benefit from the extra cuddles (I speak from experience on that front).

HTH