:hugs: I know how you feel.
I went through something similar with ds, and it looks like dd is following suit and i'm desperate for her not to.
we road it out after many sleepless nights and had a vast improvement when we put him in a bed (king single room for an adult too)
I know it's wrong but I will happily let a child go to sleep with me and then move them to their own bed.
I can't give you any tips but like you I too would prefer a gentle parenting idea, i'm not a fan of people telling me that I have to do this and have to do that. etc etc and definetly don't do controlled crying.

I have been really tring hard to read the sleep cues for dd, and put her to bed awake, at the right time to self settle, sometimes i succeed but we are still fluctuating between getting up 3 times a night or what feels like every 30 minutes.

I miss rem sleep sooo much, and am constantly exhausted.