Sleep Schools - do they really work? Bit desperate...
Ok, bit of background - DS1, who's 3, doesn't sleep through the night, never has, and possibly never will. If DH goes in to settle him through the night they just end up arguing, as DS1 doesn't want anyone but me. So inevitably, I'm the one the gets up to settle and/or stop the argument. DS1 will sleep beautifully if I am sleeping next to him, although this is a recent development over the last 6 months or so, mostly my own fault, because with being pg and then with a newborn, I have found it impossible to stay awake, so end up falling asleep whenever I am lying down, bit of a vicious circle really. Anyway, we don't expect that we'd be able to "fix" DS1, we are now just waiting for him to grow out of it..
DS2 arrived nearly 5 months ago. For a few weeks, maybe 10, it looked like I was going to get a better sleeper 2nd time around. 7pm-3am seemed to be his thing, and it was good . But it's all gone pearshaped. He will not sleep in his cot overnight, we've tried lights on, music on, sitting beside him for ages, everything we can think of, but it all comes back to the only way to get him to sleep is for me to hold him. All night. But then he snacks. All night. So I'm awake/dozing for more than I'm actually getting any kind of sleep. DH does a little better, cos I spend time on the couch when we've had a particularly rough few nights, just so he can catch up a little bit. But really, between the 2 boys, I'm lucky if I get any more than a 2 hour uninterrupted stretch in any night. And I'm usually up for the day come 5-5.30am.
So, I'm pretty much over it. I cope during the day (mostly), but I have no patience, particularly with DS1, and I just hate the way that I have flashes of real anger at him - it's not how I want to parent, and I think that it's purely from lack of sleep. During the night is worse - I haven't lost it completely yet, but I'm at the point that I'm worried that I will.
Anyway, I guess the whole point of this ramble is to ask if anyone's been to any of the sleep schools, and whether it actually works - cos at this point in time, I just can't see how they can break the cycle in 5 days. I'm at the point where I almost don't care if it's controlled crying they use, as long as I don't have to hear the tears & the misery, I think I would do almost anything to get a nights sleep. As would DH. I'll probably chose between Mitcham or Masada, cos I have a better chance of getting in to their programs in a reasonable time frame, my understanding of the public ones is that it can be months of waiting, which I just don't think I can face.
So yeah - any stories (good or bad) would be appreciated
hi bhoys girl, sleep deprivation is the absolute worst isn't it?
i do have some friends that did the Mitcham program and swear by it. they definitely do use 'controlled crying' there though, so just be aware that that is their method.
i have heard that the one at koo wee rup is suppossed to be the 'gentlest' of the melb sleep schools. have you heard anything about that one?
Yep, I did a week of sleep school in the ACT, they use a 'controlled comforting' technique which is quite different to out and out controlled crying. I was hanging on to my sanity but a very thin thread, and I had got to the point where I was occasionally hallucinating I was so sleep deprived. They took DD and cared for her in their nursery on the first night so I could sleep which by itself was a life-saver. They were very supportive and the technique was a guideline which they tweaked according to the actual family and their preferences. By the time we went home DD was settling in under half and hour and only waking 2-3 times a night, but by following their technque consistently, that was down to about 10-15 min by ten days later, and by then she was only getting up 1-2 times, and she started sleeping through on occasion shortly after that.
Sleep school is sleep training, and success seems to depend on the relative stubborness of the child versus your determination (or capacity to follow through the techniques).
I only know a few people who used sleep school (tresillian) and general reports were it is pretty traumatic and with varying results (one girl I know has 'failed' sleep school three times at almost 2).
Would you consider cosleeping with both kids? You might start getting longer stretches.
I was so sleep deprived by 8 months I weeped over anything. I tried sleep training early on, but you have to consistent and strong and tbh often the desperation for sleep would make me 'give in'. My dd is a particularly stubborn child though and we clash over many things. The moment I gave in and put her in my bed I started feeling human again and more like the mother I wanted to be.
I know sleep school sounds like a magic bullet, but ime there is no one solution to sleep issues. You need more support to help deal with your toddler and maybe sleeps in the day. That and cosleeping will get you through the next few months, but obviously it brings it's own challenges.
Hth. I am worried about the new bub being as wakeful as dd, because I really struggled there for a while.
Sleep Schools - do they really work? Bit desperate...
. But it's all gone pearshaped. He will not sleep in his cot overnight, we've tried lights on, music on, sitting beside him for ages, everything we can think of, but it all comes back to the only way to get him to sleep is for me to hold him. All night. But then he snacks. All night. So I'm awake/dozing for more than I'm actually getting any kind of sleep. DH does a little better, cos I spend time on the couch when we've had a particularly rough few nights, just so he can catch up a little bit. But really, between the 2 boys, I'm lucky if I get any more than a 2 hour uninterrupted stretch in any night. And I'm usually up for the day come 5-5.30am.
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