we have also had the same problems with ds.

I agree with the whole bedtime routine, ds knows he has dinner, bath, massage, a little bit of playtime, bottle and cuddles then bed by 8pm (but usually he goes at 7:30pm when he shows signs he is ready to sleep).

does she have a special toy or blankie she can take to bed with her? or can she sleep with you in your bed, maybe she just wants to be close to you.

If ds has a bad night with the sleeping, he sleeps with us in our bed and for him this usually only goes on for 2 nights and then he is back to normal and sleeping in his own bed, so i think its just a little phase they go through and ds seems to do it once or twice per month.

Definately give the bedtime routine a go, it does work, but it takes time, so be prepared for a few sleepless nights while your dd adjusts to the new routine.