i've learnt that babies are not something that you can control... throw away the notion of having any sort of routine, predictabilty, or any pattern to the days - i wasted so much time striving to get some sort of pattern or rhythm going and it was only at about 6 months that i realised my DD was in control, not me, so no matter how hard i worked, i still had to follow her lead... and in the end it makes no difference if there is no pattern or routine to the day, no difference whatsoever... (if you get a predictable bubs and a pattern going then that is a bonus but definitely not a necessity)

the biggest shock for me was really how i would be the number 1 primary carer... i thought i was going into it 50/50 with my partner, but it was in the first few weeks when i was up pacing the floor for hours on end in the middle of the night that it suddenly dawned on me.... this is it. im the one. im the one that deals with the sleep, or lack of it, the middle of the night feeds, the fussiness... the buck stops with me. it took me a while to come to terms with this. but now that i have, i cherish my role and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. in the beginning i used to envy my partner at being able to go off to work and have that 'break'... now i know better, much better.

it was also over whelming at just how tired you get, and the fact that you really don't get a chance to recuperate and recharge, its just GO GO GO... when i was pregnant i used to sleep so poorly at night, but that is NOTHING compared to when bubs comes along... and for me there was no chance to nap while she napped. it was pure exhaustion.

and one thing that everyone will tell you but you will never understand until it starts happening - IT REALLY DOES GO SO QUICKLY... in the blink of an eye its over.... so try to enjoy it and cherish those moments no matter how stressed and tired you are... the best mantra to repeat during a bad day or week is 'this phase will not last forever, this phase will not last forever'... at the time you think its never going to end.... then bam, its over, they start feeding better or sleeping better or whatever it is.... then in a few weeks its onto something else challenging!!

i really think i am going to enjoy the experience with number 2 so much more as i will be so much more relaxed.

best of luck!!