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thread: So who didn't do the whole self settling deal?

  1. #19
    Registered User

    Sep 2005
    In the middle of nowhere
    9,362

    I was the same after DD1. It's such a relief when you realise you really don't have to follow what other people say.
    chick.



    As an aside I feel like such a legend when all three are in bed at 6.30 these days lol, cos I know what a struggle it has been in the past.

  2. #20
    Registered User

    May 2012
    Where faith conquers fear
    559

    I think different bubs (and mummas) want and need different things. DD was never a self-settler but she is a gorgeous, happy 7 year old now! I will probably comfort other babies to sleep if that is what makes us happy too, but I wouldn't mind the convenience of a bub who was happy to fall asleep without assistance I guess!

  3. #21
    Registered User

    May 2008
    Melbourne
    1,838

    Honestly in my opinion i think it depends on the child. DS1 self settled from about the 6 month mark and sleep was a beautiful calm place for him. DS2 did too, he was a bit more difficult at times but being in our arms to go to sleep was way too stimulating for him and he hated it. THEN DD came along... I have learnt that there is no way you can make her do something if she doesn't want to (took me 18 months) and i'm already runing scared for what i have ahead of me, neither of us like to give in I fed her to sleep, rocked her to sleep and as much as i loved to do it i also got very frustrated in doing it and it got to the point where it was getting harder and harder to get her to sleep. Would i change any of it?? Probably not, it worked at the time. I made changes when i felt it was needed and she has adapted really well.

    My honest opinion is you need to see what it is your DS wants to do. Sounds like things are going really well at the moment so as most have said why make any changes when you are happy with the way things are. If later on you feel you want a change the option is there, he just may take to more than your DD did.

    Good luck and most of all enjoy your little man

  4. #22
    Registered User

    Dec 2006
    Melbourne
    3,737

    I held and cuddled all my kids to sleep as long as I could, quite often in a carrier. I loved the quiet time and snuggles.

    I didn't co sleep with them but would transfer them into the bassinette and them cot once they were asleep. I never let them cry for long if they woke up overnight, I believe they are crying for a reason and found it was easier to settle them if I responded quicker.

    All of mine eventually self settled on their own, probably about 10 months and I think it's because they knew that we would be their for them if they needed something.

    I am a believer in doing whatever works for you whether it's cuddling and comforting to sleep or letting them self settle.

  5. #23
    Registered User
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    Apr 2007
    Recently treechanged to Woodend, VIC
    3,473

    I did with DD1 but with no crying. And I do mean no crying. She self settled from about six weeks and has been doing that ever since and sleeping through the night. I would just rock her until she was drowsy and then let her do the rest herself when she was really little. Gradually I cut out the rocking.

    DD2 is a completely different kettle of fish. She is nearly two and still doesn't self settle and I have no intention of 'teaching' her with controlled crying.

    Some children self-settle easily, some children don't.

  6. #24
    Registered User

    Nov 2010
    424

    Thanks girls, just going to wait and see how he goes.

    If we can just get his wind sorted out life would be much easier!

  7. #25
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    Ouiinslano
    5,303

    I had a go a few times. It worked twice, and both times I had to stand there and watch her, because it felt weird... so not much point! I have an awesome sleeper now, who asks for bed when she wants it, and goes down super easily.

    Drinking peppermint tea seemed to help with wind here. And babywearing.

  8. #26
    Registered User

    Nov 2011
    Radelaide
    910

    Kelsbels, go with your instincts on this.

    I did everything wrong (according to the books & CHN advice) and fed to sleep from day 1 with all of mine.

    And even though I put DS1 on the bottle at 4 months I still fed & cuddled him to sleep as this is what he was used to. At around 6 months is when I started a 'proper' bedtime routine (dinner, bath, feed, bed). And even then my little ones didn't self settle until around 12 months.
    If your little tacker is sleeping fine don't change a thing. In fact I have heard many an older mum say how they wish they had cuddled their kids more.....
    They grow up way too fast, I for one have as many baby cuddles as I can because there comes a day when they think they are 'too big' for cuddles!

    Edit: Kelsbels, just wondering if it is actually wind (air bubble trapped in the digestive system) or possibly silent reflux(milk coming back up the throat, like heart burn)?
    (I'm just having a guess based on what you said about him waking 10-15 min later) a GP who specializes with kids or a Pediatrician might be able to help you figure out exactly what it is. Although if it doesn't bother him too much don't worry.
    Last edited by Chrispe; June 12th, 2012 at 09:29 PM.

  9. #27
    Registered User

    Nov 2010
    424

    Thanks chrispe.

    He was diagnosed silent reflux and medicated, but we had a course of treatment with a paed chiro and the reflux was 'cured'.
    When he wakes I pick him up, he always does 3 or 4 burps and then I put him back down and he generally settles for a good sleep. Sometimes it'll take a couple of burps to get it right.

    I assume it's just still an immature gut so fingers crossed it gets better soon!

  10. #28
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    he's only little - everything is still developing.

  11. #29
    Registered User

    Nov 2011
    Radelaide
    910

    Yeah
    Mine have all had various types of reflux- at 3-4 months old it's still very common, & still maturing. Glad to hear it sounds like it's well under control.

    (I've had friends who didn't know why their baby was screaming all the time & the doctors didn't diagnose the reflux for months, so now when I hear the symptoms I automatically ask)

    Well done!

  12. #30
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    8,369

    I never did self-settle. My son now asks to go to bed when he's tired, tucks himself in if I'm not around and goes to sleep. And he was a shocking sleeper. I nearly had a couple of sleep-deprivation breakdowns.

    With Stormy, I'm going to be even more relaxed than I was with Liebs. I think that's possible...

  13. #31
    Registered User

    Nov 2010
    424

    So after resolving not to worry about his sleep habits and lack of self settling, turns out he prefers to be in his bassinet with his sister's musical seahorse and put himself to sleep. Can't believe it. Gee my kids are like chalk and cheese!

  14. #32
    Registered User

    Sep 2007
    Brisbane
    5,729

    DD2 already self settles . She was never cuddled or fed to sleep in the SCN, and at home I can feed her then burp, change bum, feed, burp, then wrap and put down to sleep fully awake and she takes herself off to sleep without fail. I saw no reason to break the habit now we are home.

  15. #33
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    My DD did for the first month or two, then grew out of it lol Now she's starting toward it again.

  16. #34
    Registered User
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    Oct 2009
    Lalor, VIC
    5,051

    The closest we come to self settling is when DD finds the boob on her own without me directing her to it and feeds herself back to sleep


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

  17. #35
    Registered User
    Add Butterfly Dawn on Facebook

    Aug 2008
    Climbing Mt foldmore
    2,894

    I would start questioning whoever is pressing you as to why they feel you need to change anything when babe is getting good night sleeps. In my experience you only change things when your not getting the results you want.
    We went through hell with our 1st as well when all he wanted was to feel safe and cuddle up with us to sleep. We didn't stop listening until he was about 14mths. Never listened to anybody again about how children should sleep.
    They will move out of your bed when they are ready. And then its great to make their room up together.



    Sorry if it doesn't make sense, the barefoot princess is covering me with kisses

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