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Thread: Sooo angry at daycare - Julia got bitten

  1. #1

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    Default Sooo angry at daycare - Julia got bitten

    Julia goes to daycare one day a week but lately everytime she goes she gets really sick, 4 weeks ago it was tonsilitis and a viral infection ending up in hospital and then last week she got a cold apparently broncialitis was going around the daycare. NOW THIS WEEK has sent me over the edge....



    Just as I got to the carpark to pick Julia up from daycare, the daycare centre called me, Julia was involved in a fight over lego, some kid in her room same age as Julia round abouts not much older BIT her to get the lego... poor chicken. Im so over this daycare thing at the moment. im so seriously thinking of taking her out she is only in one day a week. Should see the big bite mark on her shoulder... Shes only been in the bigger room with older kids up to 3 years for 2 weeks and now this.

    What would you do? leave her in for one day or take her out of daycare. Does this usually happen at daycare? one of my friends mentioned to me if it keeps happening or she keeps getting bullied I should pull her out as she will lose her independance and confidence... aughh im so upset and confused.

  2. #2

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    It is a hard decision. Genevieve has been bitten twice at daycare by 2 seperate children. If the centre is good they will have strategies to deal with the biters. In the long term the biters are the ones that suffer as the other children identify them as biters and won't play with them and they become outcast. However, if it is a one off situation and the centre works with the biter to help them find other ways to communicate and express anger.

  3. #3

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    OMG..i wouldnt not be putting up with that. Id be speaking with the DC director and express your anger.

  4. #4

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    Nai is correct: biting kids can up being the outcasts until they change their ways.

    I've worked in daycare and had to deal with biting children. It can be hard to manage, and having had children of my own who have been bitten, and grabbed around the neck leaving a mark, I know how angry it can make you feel as a parent. You feel so helpless that you weren't there to protect your child. However i have also been a worker and I've done my very best to make sure all the children under my care have remained safe... but it can be incredibly hard to watch them all at all times. If there is family grouping (a room of mixed aged children) it can be especially hard... I found this is when these kinds of things happened, but not always... but it was harder to supervise so you didn't always catch incidents as soon as they were occurring.

    Imagine this common scenario: you are cleaning up a mess.... while talking to a few children who are trying to help... your colleague is watching the other children but has to also comfort a sad child... both of you take your eyes of all the children for 30 seconds and before you know it you hear a squeal from behind you... a child has been bitten and you didn't see it! You immediately drop what you are doing (even if the mess is a bit dangerous, like spilt paint) and you comfort the victim... then you question the perpetrator and remove them to another part of the room if necessary... but are you watching all the other children???? (Keep in mind there can be 25 children in the room at any given time)

    Worst of all you feel really really bad... you absolutely dread calling the parents because 9/10 you know that they are going to crack it... it was your fault You also have to contact the perpetrator's parents who often deny a biting problem; "oh he's never done that before... has he picked it up at care from another child" (while looking at you accusingly).

    Have a chat with the director. You might find that if you remain calm that the staff will breathe a huge sigh of relief and actually want to help your daughter because her mum is so sweet? They would help her anyhow... but some parents really do go right over the top and it's hard not to feel resentful. You really will get better service if you are understanding. Biting is a fairly regular occurrence with littlies... especially under 2's.

    I hope I haven't over stepped the mark... just wanted to share my experience... as both a parent and day care worker. if you feel that this is just one of many issues you have with the centre then yes, consider pulling her out, but if you are otherwise happy and your child is usually happy to attend then maybe reconsider
    Last edited by Bathsheba; April 8th, 2008 at 08:36 AM.

  5. #5

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    I have to say I totally agree with Bath's post.

    Yes it is upsetting that Julia was bitten and it's also quite sad that she is getting sick at daycare. It is however, my experience that the sicknesses will subside as her immunity builds up. I found that by Noah being in daycare he would pick up things, bring it home and Tehya would get it. As crappy as that was, by the time she started she rarely got sick. Of course now she is a new pre school she is getting new kids germs. LOL.

    Julia will also get more assertive being in daycare which isn't always a bad thing. She will learn to stick up for herself so she get's to play with what she wants too.

    Have a chat with the Director at her school. I am sure they will be more than understanding.

    Goodluck and i hope all goes well

  6. #6

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    Aww Belle poor Julia!!!!! Never nice to be bitten.
    If it had happened to DS (and no doubt it probably will - or HE will be the biter) I don't think I would take him out of day care. But I'm very happy with the daycare that he is in, the carers all love him, and tell me what a good boy he is, he's so cruisy and how much they all love him and think he's gorgeous. So even though they have to watch so many kids at the same time, I think they try their hardest to make sure nothing like that happens, but I can't expect it NOT to happen IYKWIM? Kids move quickly!!! Oh, and DS gets sick all the time too, as you know, he has just gone through tonsillitis again - and has three ear infections since he started going. But, I just think its building up his immunity, and it won't last forever.
    Make the decision that YOU feel most comfortable with, after all, she's your baby!!!

  7. #7

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    yep i work in child care too and it is a fairly common problem. more so in the under 2's though. it isnt nice but it does happen and i am sure the staff will do all they can to work the problem out. if you go to the director and have a chat i advise that you do it in a nice, calm, friendly manner so that the staff dont see you as being accusatory in any way but just that you want to work with them to see that something is put in place to reduce the liklihood of it happening again.

    also, with children being sick. it happens all the time! especially when they first start at a centre. knowing this though doesnt make it any easier. when my DD first started i knew she would get sick, its just a fact of life in child care. however, when she actually got sick, every week with temps, infections, conjunctivitis, colds, viruses, school sores, chicken pox (LOL-thats a long list) i even thought, oh my god i am gonna pull her out. but a year later she hasnt really been sick at all and if she does get sick her body seems to deal with it quicker and better.

    anyway, hope you have a nice chat with your centre and start to feel better about the situation.

  8. #8

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    I do understand how you feel, it's very hard especially when these things are happening and it's your first and you really have no reference point for whether or not they're normal.

    My experience with this was that my DD continually got sick between 12 months and 2 years - and she was in Family daycare for two short days a week. She was only ever with 3 other children, but she still got sick constantly for that year. We also had a viral infection that ended in hospitalisation, as well as numerous colds, conjunctivitis, and a few mystery viral things that gave her rashes and and mild fevers.

    But it really is true that a) all children go through this when exposed to other kids for the first time - and when you think about it until that point their immune system has only been exposed on any ongoing basis to what's in your home until they start daycare. And b) they DO grow out of it.

    DD is now nearly 3.5 and she is in kinder with large groups of kids - and she is rarely sick. And that's been the case for nearly a year now. Between 1-2 was definitely the worst.

    Re the biting - been there too. I'd agree with Bath's posts it does happen everywhere and it happens so QUICK! Literally half a second. My DD was on the receiving end of it a few times, once the child involved started talking and could communicate better it stopped. So again, something they grow out of.

    Daycare is hard with this age group. But it does get easier as they get older :hugs: (plus they can talk and tell you what's going on and if they're happy or not, which helps).

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