I'm frustrated and really NOT liking my child... (very angry/frustrated vent)
I don't even want to look at miss s atm. She never freaking sleeps more than 2 hours at a time, she freaking screams whens shes not being held. I just want to yell and scream at her to f**** go to sleep! I feel like crap - this lack of sleep is really getting to me. I know I need to talk to another dr because my dr won't give me the ref to tresillian. I have tried wrapping her/un wrpaping her, she has the same routines all the time. I'm sitting here bawlig my eyes out because i'm so freaking angry with her all because she wont go to sleep and won't stop screaming
I really really don't like her atm, I want her to go anywhere but my house atm...OMG - i sound horrible it's making me more upset reading that back to myself...
Take a big huge breath Sunshine. Being sleep deprived is awful, and while you know it won't last, that doesn't help you right now does it. Can you just call tresillian yourself (sorry I don't know the procedure with them) and get in to see someone? Does your DH help you a lot? Is there anyone else around that can help you?
You'll be OK, S will be OK too....just try and be calm
can you give someone a call and get some rest? I hope you get some rest soon - what your feeling is perfectly normal, and it sounds cliched, but a good sleep for you will really make the world of difference, and you'll then be able to follow up with Tresillian.
it's pretty normal to feel a bit of dislike for your baby after so many sleepless nights.
If she's really making you angry it's ok to put her down somewhere safe and leave her to scream for a bit while you step out into your garden and get your cool back.
Giving her a massage might help her relax and sleep for longer. Have you tried co-sleeping? You might get a better nights sleep if you only have to roll over to comfort her instead of getting out of bed.
gosh sweets, we've all been there. I can tell you that I have yelled at my baby to "effing go to sleep" a time or two. Doesn't help, but made me feel better for the 3 seconds before the guilts kicked in.
can you pop her in her cot & give yourself 10 mins breathing space? It's not cry it out, its not neglect, its head space for you, its time to get calm & come back just that teensy bit refreshed.
at the worst of moments like this, I have popped DD in her cot & gone off for a shower / cry & then came out feeling ready to tackle her again.
Best of luck gorgeous, its hard stuff this & you're doing your very best.
xox
Can you believe she didn't go to sleep until 1.30 this morning and was happily awake talking and playing with her dummy in her cot at 5am this morning!! Where the hell does this child get this energy. It's frustrating me to no end!
I've had 2 kids the have pushed me to my limits with sleep deprivation and it is a horrible horrible experience. Makes it nearly impossible to enjoy your baby or mothering of them or feel like you are doing a good job with your other child. What I also found difficult second time around was my doctors and MCHN reluctance to refer me to any services because it I was a 2nd time Mum and had been to sleep school first time around so I should know what to do, it was just a matter of doing it. This approach was totally frustrating as if I could have I would have being doing something different but by then I was just in survival mode trying to get to the end of each day. When I reached breaking point I had to look at other options outside the box like getting a regular babysitter for a period of time so I could catch up on some sleep or finding someone to come into our home to run a sleeping program which we would have had to pay for but at that point in time I would have paid anything to make it all stop.
In the end we made a plan of steps and time frame for getting help so I knew there was a light at the end of then tunnel. We decided initially we would try for a week of DH stepping up more and tackling the night together instead of it being only me responsible for the night this improved my feeling of support. If that didn't work then we were going to push for a return to sleep school and if that wasn't successful pay for the in home service. In the end we managed to sort it out at home but it wasn't a quick fix my DD was older than yours and while there were improvements in the first week it took time to change things.
It is a hard, hard road and I think your idea of seeing another Dr that might be more helpful and supportive is a great idea. Hope things improve soon.
Hi. I totally understand how you feel. Sleep deprivation is just terrible, that's why it was used as a form of torture in times gone by!
Both my DS and DD were shocking sleepers. I am still up a couple of times a week with DD.
I noticed you live in Sydney. I went to Tresillian with DS and they were good. However there is a private sleep consultant we also used who is fantastic that is based in Newcastle. She does do telephone consults so perhaps give her a try? If you google Sleep and Settle her website will come up. She is really supportive and fantastic.
Honey big giant hugs..I know how you feel Miss H has nevewr slept for more than what 4 hours at a time, we are now and have been for weeks now waking up every hour or so ,i am so tired i dont know how i cope, iv got angry at night ,but took a second and calmed myself down...We co sleep as then i just have to roll over and i don't have to get up, do what ever u can to make this time easier for you,sleep with her if it helps u both get more sleep
I know its no answer but i am just trying to ride it out in the hope that one day she will sleep better..U are doing a great job hun and its ok to feel like this , just take a second ,and breathe xx
First big there's a reason why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture!
I am wondering whether you are in a position to go to a private facility? There is one at Miranda (will check the name for you) and they take self referrals. A couple of friends did it with their kids and said it was fantastic. Might be another option if you're having trouble getting a referral to Tresillian
Just wanted to let you know that you really aren't alone. Whilst i am a dad i have a lot to do with my children cause i choose to put myself in that position and i know how frustrating it can be....
Recently i have found an organisation called "Whispers Cottage" and we are booked in to try and get some last resort help.
i dont know what they are like from what i have read they are suppose to be second to none when it comes these type of matters.
What i can say is that you dont need to have a referral from your gp you can book direct.
i hope this helps you.
On a side note i DONT know your situation but if your bottle feeding it might be the formula. i have heard of babies gaining energy burst from ingredients that babies can
react to.
If your still on the breast or expressing could it be from what your eating?
Oh we are booked in at Miranda in the Shire so i dont know if thats convenient for you or not i am sure they have other locations..
Sleep deprivation is truly an awful thing. Especially when you have another little munchkin on the go as well. I completely understand your frustration & the way you are feeling. My DD1 was 6 months old before she slept for 3 consecutive hours & it was the absolute pits.
I really hope you can get yourself into a sleep school, or get an in-house consultant. In the meantime, please, please, please try to remember that this isn't permanent. Also, I know it's so hard to focus on, but the more stressed out you are, the more Bubs is going to feed off that stress.
When you are at your wits end, make yourself a cuppa & sit down & make yourself drink it all while Bubs is safe in her cot. Screaming or not. Sometimes you just need to take 5 for yourself. You're only human darl & you need to look after yourself at some point as well.
I wish you all the sleep fairy dust I can muster for a peaceful night tonight.
I have a program called 'sleep sense'. I didn't try it myself but my gf gave it to me when we were trying to get DD to sleep better. If you PM me I can e-mail it to you. She thought it was good & her son is a good sleeper now, albeit he is 3.5 yo.
I'm frustrated and really NOT liking my child... (very angry/frustrated vent)
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