I would definitely still look at getting him assessed for a spectrum disorder, it might not be autism but there are many other options that present similarly.
It is really hard. I understand completely. I cried a lot at first, grieving for my daughter because it does make things tough for them. Would she ever play with other kids and make friends? Will she ever say mum? Or I love you? The first thing we did was learn sign language (our speechie taught it to us) so that might be something worth discussing? The other option they offered was certain apps for things like iPads (we didn't have one) or even just sight cards so that they can learn to express their needs in pictures. We found signing helped us 10 fold, we had a lot less frustration and misunderstanding - we started with simple and useful things like 'finished', 'more' and 'help' and then expanded as we needed (clothing, food, transport, places etc). She learnt 100s of signs (and us too). I think that should be the first thing you work out with your speechie - if we can't communicate verbally, is there another way we can in the mean time?
I'm not sure how things work if there is also a low receptive language as in our case DD1 had an above average ability in this area so had no problems following instructions to learn to sign etc. Once we began learning, we noticed ways she had been signing to us all along so that was eye opening.
You most definitely are already helping even if you don't feel it. Just engaging verbally, reading books... it all helps. The best thing you can do is just engage, engage, engage. And have a lot of patience.
We started speech at around 2.5 when my daughter had no words. She also never really babbled as a baby (she was my first, we never realised till after the fact how odd that is). By 3, with 6 months of speech behind her, we were communicating although not verbally - signing changed our lives. She is now about to turn four and in kindy (QLD so half weeks the year before full time school) where they have no problem understanding her verbally although some of her sounds are a little unclear and in need of polishing - I never thought this would happen, if you search my posts you'll find one about me stressing about her going to kindy. She still goes to speech once a week. It felt like forever to get to this point and then it all happened really fast, it was like the word explosion most described their children having at 2, ours was just quite a lot later. She now speaks sentences, tells stories and sings songs! There were points I thought she would never be verbal.
Now we are actually looking into spectrum disorders ourselves so I think her initial speech diagnosis wasn't even correct but we are getting there anyway.
It is a tough ride. Your son is different and that's okay - we all are to some extent. It is okay to grieve, to be upset about the challenges he might face because of his impediment. To have days where it is hard to be hopeful. I now have another DD who is a year old and I feel like I'm grieving all over again watching what a normal babyhood is. My DD2 seems so old compared to what my DD1 was at the same age which is also hard. But it is a very fulfilling journey too that makes you appreciate the little wins, my daughter has taught me so much and she is so beautiful and unique and special. Your son is too. It'll be hard but it'll be okay too
Thank you so much girls. I think I'll save both of your last comments Jellyfish and Spiceoflife to come back and read whenever I'm feeling hopeless. Very encouraging and i really appreciate it you almost made me cry! It's nice to know that others have been through what I'm going through and that I am doing something to help even if it doesn't feel like it.
He is seeing a occupational therapist in the first week of march, who I'm assuming will be able to give some insight into a spectrum disorder. Depending on what they say I think I might look into that a bit, but I can understand how hard they are to diagnose though seeing how much the attributes can differ!
Thank you for helping me to see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if the train is driving really slowly.
Just thought I'd update for anyone who is interested.
Saw the OT on Wednesday. She asked a lot of questions and got DS to do a few things and suggested that he go on the waiting list for a diagnosis for Autism. They explained that he had some things that were classic autism and others werent' and that his over all development was patchy, meaning he could do age appropriate things in some areas and other areas were severely delayed. So it wasn't a clear case of anything, they said it could be that it's Aspergers but given that he's only 3 it looks like Autism (and will go into aspergers as he grows), or it is a mild form of Autism or best case scenario he's got a language delay that is showing signs of Autism that will go away. In the meantime we'll have regular therapy sessions and a little play group with kids similar to him which I think he'll love
Glad to hear you've got a game plan littlebear! Hope your DS goes well. My DS is 3 tomorrow and he's also got a delay, and since going to cc and speech therapy he's made such good progress. We are also going to early intervention as well. He's been diagnosed with a developmental delay (mostly in the speech area) as he doesn't have the classic 'autistic' traits, although he does have some quirks. Keep us posted on your DS's progress
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