My DS (3) is heading to an OT next week to look at sensory issues....some of the stuff you say sounds similar, but a lot sounds like 'normal' 2yo stuff.
The playing stuff is a hassle, isn't it? DS doesn't want to play 'with' me as such - wants me to do it for him. He can't seem to play on his own for more than 2 mins (and by that I mean with me right there, watching him). He doesn't leave my side... We've just had half an hour of 'What do you want to play?' Followed by an endless list of options that DS discards....he used to play endlessly with the same few things, but that's normal for a 2yo I think?
A friend had great success with a 'special box' for feeding times - toys, books etc, some of which were changed each day. An odd new thing (car, stickers etc, just cheap stuff mainly) to add excitement too.
Food is a thing here - all carbs and cheese. I just persist and hide veges in what I can....puréed fruit in yoghurt, and we eat a variety of carbs so he's not eating exactly the same every day....rice cruskits, corn cakes, crackers, banana chips are all crunchy things that come to mind. What about raw veg pieces? nuts? seeds? Make your own crunchy bikkies and add extra goodness. Start with mostly the usual, but add one or two others...or day he'll surprise you. Don't even mention them on his plate, no pressure. OT's are supposed to be great with food issues...fingers crossed!
The language sounds pretty much in the realm of 'normal' - DS is very advanced here, so I haven't got personal experience, but even he wouldn't say hi to friends at that age. More stubborn than not capable! And a bit shy too!
DS has poor gross motor skills compared to his friends. Hoping the OT can help here too.
I try to keep discipline positive. Ignoring DS if its low level (speaking in a rude voice etc) works brilliantly here. Distraction is a key thing here too - 'here's your teddy for you to poke/cuddle/put to bed while baby sleeps'.

Anyway, I suppose what I wanted to say is, you're not alone and you could try OT or a referral for another specialist if you wanted, but don't go worrying too much yet.