Stopping Co-sleeping - how do I do it (preferably gently)

[Epacris]

This is what worked for us, this may not work for you (or anyone else).

We have done this with our first two and sort of (very half-heartedly and inconsistently) do it now with #3. We will do it more with #3 when we feel it’s time, probably around 2-3 yo. All our kids fall asleep wherever they want, usually on the lounge or in our bed. When we go to bed (or if their sleeping body is in the way) we carry them to their own beds. When they wake up they come into bed with us, we wait until they are properly asleep and then carry them back to their own beds again. If they wake-up at any time during the night they come back into our bed, fall asleep, and get carried back to their own bed. There are lots of disadvantages to this method but it has worked really well for us. DS1 and DD now almost always sleep all night in their own beds. If they wake they come in for a quick cuddle and then we take them back to their own beds (awake now, they don’t have to be asleep anymore) and there is absolutely no conflict. It has been a very long process though. Actually tonight (another little celebration) they both went to sleep in their own beds (that never happens).

All the best, it may be a long-haul!

[Astrid]

Posting, even though I am no help what so ever

DD2 is over 3 1/2 and pretty much the same thing happens. She can go to sleep well enough in her own bed, but if she wakes most nights the only way to settle her is back in the big bed. Not so bad on the nights where she sneaks in without me knowing, but horrid when she wakes screaming before coming to bed. I am getting over it and after last nights episode have had to have some words with her about staying in her own bed all night. When she does stay in her bed, especially after a wake up, she gets heaps of praise.

I do want to know why she is waking up, I think that is a part of it. In your case with her being hysterical, I do wonder what is making your DD wake like that?

[fionas]

Am loving the sidecar idea though not sure how that works in practice - don't they then roll all over the main bed when they start the night there and/or have their day sleep there?

Astrid - yes, I'd love to know what causes the hysterical reaction. She's always been the same. Wakes up from her day nap in a complete state too. Total opposite to her sister who always woke up with a smile making, "hey, come and get me" noises even when she was a newborn. I'm pretty grumpy when I wake up though so she probably takes after her mum